WOEBOT

I talk a lot of Crap.

Man like Phil Wilkins from LA says:

"We get freebies from XXXX*, and they always arrive with holes drilled in them, or the barcode in some way mutilated. Overstock is often marked in the same way (I believe they're called cutouts), and heavily discounted in bulk (usually without the artist knowing about it, remember rule 4080, record company people are shady)."

And this makes total sense.....damnit it's clearly the truth!

Falling Prices.

Quite why this would be of any interest I can't say. However I find these discarded minutiae of one's existence fascinating. I picked up a batch of 50 second-hand plastic sleeves from the Music and Video Exchange collectors department. One pound for ten sleeves. I like to protect my better records. These sleeves are a bugger to order usually. There is only one supplier I'm aware of in the U.K. who are located somewhere up north. Buying them like this seemed an easy option. If you were ever to break into my house to steal my records, be sure to pick up all the sheathed ones. They're more valuable.

I had to peel all the old M&V stickers off the plastic initially, from which I collated a page of them for one of my notebooks. Quite sad/glad to see all these tumbling prices. I once had to do this marking down process myself. Emerald Jim can tell you all about this too. He's another of the former alumni. In fact I think Simon worked there too. I know my good friend Ken Downie did a stint. When I was there I was with Tom, one of the guys from 23 skidoo and Bean who now runs Intoxica. Currently Sean P who was behind Strut's great "Disco not Disco" series and Richard Sen of Bronx Dogs are behind the counter. It's like a fookin guttah academy that place. Of course there are lifers like the legendary Hector Selecta, but he too has a past working with Cheb Khaled and The Blow Monkeys back inna de day.

Examining these labels caused me to reflect on the various manners in which record stores deface stock which they plan to consign to the bargain bin. From cutting off the top right hand corner, to making a vertical snip along the top of the spine, to drilling a hole though the bottom left corner of the sleeve. Quite why this barbaric practice was considered necessary in the seventies and eighties is anyone's guess. Consider your collection, and ponder how many quite lovely sleeves are wrecked.

Once I'd peeled off all the labels I had clean off all the mess. This is where this stuff comes in handy:

No self-respected record-collecting twat should be without a tin of this lighter fluid. All international crew, don't worry your local variety will do the job just as well. It's also great for cleaning vomit, dust, baby food and all manner of grok off the vinyl itself. Though don't be shy of sticking a record under a cold tap.

I got pleasantly high off the fumes at this point. Now I'm just figuring out which of my records deserve to be moved up to first class, and you'd be fascinated to know that quite a bit of obscure new-wave just got the nod and wink!

Don't do it kids!

Whaaaat! Could hardly believe this! Really liked Smith's stuff ever since I heard Mark Weber (once in Jarvis Cocker's backing-band...) play a whole lot of his tunes back to back with a selection of hardcore minimalism on one of the earliest 2-week-long incarnations of Resonance FM. I bought "Roman Candle" the LP which I can heavily recommend to those not averse to a bit of supremely tuneful yet bleak folk.

Damn what a shame! (repeat after me) Elliot I'm sorry I took you for granted.

Traversons la Manche!

J'ai venu de lire les mots de bon mon ami Angus sur mon (assez mal) francais. Soudain j'ai un corespondance avec le grand grenoiulle lui-meme Gwanael Jamois* et je trouve cet article sur Monsieur le Dizzy Rascal par Morlu du celebre Harkenschub FTP. Salut tous le downloading massif!

Vive la France!

*a ce moment-la il travaille a IRCAM! Comme on peut dire? Le centre c'est dur!

Spew.

Dug this out:

Is that enough Prog Rock for ya! Though in fact plenty of other cool stuff in there. Sadly I don't have the D-Z sections. Ragga in the wings!

Perhacs, Perhacs, Perhacs.

Just read Carlin lamenting his inability to find Linda Perhacs "Parallelograms" at the Rough Trade in Portobello. Jesus that guy writes TERRIBLY (wink).

The really funny thing is that I bought the last copy of the record off that shop. It was me, largely on Jon Dale's recommendation: "I have this ridiculous love for hippie girls from the late 60s and 70s. Vashti Bunyan, Anne Briggs from the UK. And then the soft rock renegades like Judee Sill from the USA. (Oooh I love Joni Mitchell! Quick someone crochet me a bag for collecting flowers.) Perhacs is one of the best of that ilk, her stuff's a bit more psychedelic than the usual, just really really beautiful stuff. totally awesome!" I listened to it and it blew me away...

Carlin (who somebody recently described to me as being my nemesis, er give me a break!) is right with his coy electronica references. Check Linda from the linernotes: "In those days we did not have the massive computers to help us create music. But that is what I was reaching for when I wrote "Paralellograms". I wanted it to be like a Japanese air painting in motion, with the sounds moving through space creating the shapes of the words being spoken or sung, and for the shapes caused by the throwing of sound and tones from speaker to speaker to do what we can now do with "surround sound."

It's cute to read the recurring references to the crochet-like qualities of this work (not just Dale but the girl who sold it to me) against Sadie Plant's theories of the evolution of the loom into the computer in Zeroes and Ones.

Prog?

Edmund Torpey (gee that's some seriously mid-seventies name) weighed in with praise for King Crimson's "Red" LP (though he too finds them patchy elsewhere). It occured to me, crikey this guy is coming at me from the otherside of some gaping cavern, the fact that we both dislike King Crimson wouldn't console us on a desert island where we would quickly be camping at opposing ends. Ed (who's clearly a hardcore dude) also opines in favour of British Jazz:

"I know you shouldn't try and compare like with unlike, but a lot of prog is found seriously wanting compared with this stuff (ie, in terms of musical invention - which surely should be a matter of pride for any progger). "

Ed provided me with a handy napkin map of the territory:

British Jazz/Prog Crossover figure Marc Charig.
Centipede's "Septober Energy"
Keith Tippett's Ark Project "Frames"
The Soft Machine's Third.
Ray Russell's CBS LPs
Hugh Hopper's "1984"

This is actually the very point, genuinely sophisticated classical structures and virtuoso playing, Prog makes me want to vomit. I'm with The Soft Machine (ahem, sort of, right up to the point at which Ayers and Wyatt debunk).

Old sparring partner Phil T on the other hand comes out fighting Henry Cow's corner:

"what about Henry cow, then??? everyone in this progosphere seems to want to live on the margins but disregard the most marginal of all. every single henry cow album is considerably more interesting, more succinct, more left field and more progressive than anything you've discussed."

Sure enough Henry Cow should have got a passing mention, but I'm embarrassed enough to admit that I can't stand them. I so desperately wanted to like "Legend" and "Unrest", those awesome covers, but once again straining to hold down my food when I hear the stuff. Leading me to conclude that when it comes to the thumbnail caricature of Prog, I'd happily never hear any; that my Prog selection was kind of as un-Proggy as I could reasonable make it BUT ALSO that there is more to the genre than the dominant stereotypes suggest. Ayers' solipsistic symphonies, Coyne's curmudgeonly non-blues, The Groundhogs uncomplicated rock, etc.

Both correspondents love The Hatfield and The North LP. What do I know eh! My own mind at the very least.

Tazartes.

If I seem a bit quiet it's because between knocking on doors for work I'm masterminding a Prog-Rock 10 special. I hate these specials of mine, they're becoming a bit too didactic. In fact I'd felt I'd put the whole thing to bed, I mean I could carry on like that FOREVER, but as a rule something which is a strain to write is a strain to read.

Actually I have precious few Prog-Rock records, something like 4 prog-rock proper. There's alot of records and bands that aren't quite Prog-Rock. You see King Crimson, that's Prog, whereas Fripp and Eno, well it's not REALLY Prog Rock is it? Lots of things aren't quite Prog-Rock: Zappa (Freak-Rock), The Incredible String Band (Folk Rock), Kak (West Coast Space Rock), Amon Duul I (too folky, though Amon Duul II, that's Prog-Rock), White Noise (too early), The United States of America (too early, too beat), Led Zepellin (too heavy), Tim Souster and Trevor Wishart (too electronic). One very interesting thing which I came across combing through the racks at home, and which falls into the "Not-Prog" category is this Tazartes' "Transports", being held in the photo above, by...........a woman!

This record was sold to me by a friend. I know very little about it. Google Tazartes and all you'll get is this guy who has it on his wants list. That's quite some wants list though! It has been reissued by Italy's New Tone label recently on CD though the vinyl is beyond rare, only 100 pressed. It's from Paris circa 1973, some crackpot (possibly North African) electronics wizzard. It's all ancient drum-machines and rolling pre-acid synth patterns laden with muezzin flavours, bells, insane cracked chanting. Very dark. Very cold. My friend knows his daughter and apparently (kisses pursed fingers) she's a peach.

I've always thought Chris Morris would find this fascinating, maybe Nick will take it along on one of his sessions.

In case you missed it...

He has a few good points, though he's rather harsh on me.

If I might be a teensy weensy bit didactic, I'd say two words in my defense, "Diachronic History." That's the past that happens behind your back.

More prog next week!

Indian Extra.

Gaz Lom says "(Eric) Dolphy's "Improvisations and Tukras" from 1960 just flute, tabla, tamboura." is definitely worth inspecting."

Marcus Rephlex says: "Bit harsh on the Joe Harriot tho' Imo - the great thing about that is it has this Indian stuff in it but it's could very well be the music to Paddington Bear* or something like that... it's english music of an era thru and thru!" LOL, same applies to all the KPM/Library strain of Indian-flavoured music.

I'd get a comments box, but couldn't rely on anonymous cretins not leaving vicious remarks in it. Though presumably now I'm languishing in Coventry I'd get no comments whatsover :-D

Forgot to mention Paul Horn's "Inside", him playing echoey flute inside the Taj Mahal. Part "World of Echo" precursor/part daft musical tourism. And about a zillion other things :-(

All this stuff seem totally anachronistic? Maybe with the Missy "Get UR Freak On", Erick Sermon "React", Bollywood/Egyptian Riddim thing it is rearing it's head again; though the flavours (Tabla/Sitar/Dhol/Tambura/Voice) now empty signifiers. On the other hand (in relation to giving the "fake" props) does that make any difference?

Part Two next week. I'll endeavour not to be TOO boring.

Feedback.

Got a spicy email from my transatlantic sparring partner Mr. Dan Setzer of Acute records which sheds more light on the "Flock of Seagulls or not?" theory: "maybe not Ron Hardy, but I've heard other late 80s chicago/detroit mixes that were very euro-centric, there was one that a friend has, I need to copy, which was Mickey Mixin Oliver in 87 or 89 and featured predominately white European acts ranging from Modern Romance's Everybody Salsa to Anne Clark's Our Darkness, mixed in with a bit of early house and techno." And of course, what of Electrifying Mojo, who's credited with playing a lot of European stuff? However, there's no getting away from Ron Hardy's centrality.

Reynolds has said: "I found the most fantastic Derrick May quote the other day while looking for something else, it was totally anti-Kirk's version in that Derrick said Detroit was totally inspired by and a continuation of English and European synthpop!" What can I say! The pressure is on Simon to produce the evidence!

Also I've just completed a hefty review for the NYC Free Press of the (hilarious) Be Music reissue. Be Music being New Order's productions of other folk and 52nd Street sound queerly like Big Fun-era Inner City.

Thanks to Kirk for being such a sport. I like his angle, and there's a lot to it.

Back to the Future!

Great to hear the k-punk and Blissblog discussion about the sixties. Mark and I were having a similar conversation when we hooked up the other day, which revolved around Bob Dylan. Mark was pretty dismissive of those records (Bringing it all Back Home/Highway 61 Revisited/Blonde On Blonde). I think he thought they were stuffy, irrelevant and classical. I did understand, I mean this kind of geetar-folk is probably the antithesis of everything k-punk stands for.

However, when these records came out they were modern. Even if we choose to put them side-by-side by the Music Concrete "massive" I don't think it negates their veracity and freshness at the time. I think the Warhol/VU/Dylan axis; all leather trousers, dark-glasses and amphetamines is extremely potent. You might not want to slide Dylan in with The Exploding Plastic Inevitable, The Velvet's, La Monte Young and Harry Smith but he was there. He was profiling in NYC, hanging with Andy, going round to Allen Ginsberg's appartment to see Harry Smith (who famously REFUSED to come out of his bedroom to meet Dylan, Ginsberg tearing his hair out - echoes here of gutter Cynic philosopher Diogenes refusing to get out of the box he was sitting in when Alexander the Great dropped by, telling Alexander his shadow was blocking out the sun, Alexander confiding to his courtiers afterwards "If I was to be one man other than myself, it would be Diogenes.") Certainly the folk crowd didn't want anything to do with Dylan, and maybe that was Smith's line, though I'm sure he thought it'd be more fun to be intransigent. Dylan was a bad bwoy. While I'd make no claims that these records were pungent with cultural possibilities, to my mind they're still charged with poetry and life.

How did I end up back here? That "Retro Rock TM", (see Stone Temple Pilots, The Doves, White Stripes) is still working it's way through the possibilities of music like Dylan with pathetic faithfulness doesn't diminish the power of the original "original" creative act. Obviously a band like the Velvet Underground (like it or not Paul Meme) are still, if not bursting with vital influence, then a little pungent. Favour the Avant-Folk scene or not, offerings from outfits like Tower Recordings are as modern and exploratory, if not as Grime, then as most Electronica. The whole Concrete thing I did here should make it pretty obvious that skronky synthesiser music aint exactly an invention.

I'd like to return to something I was talking about ages ago, which if I remember rightly people raised one eyebrow at, though SURELY explored somewhere rigorously (by a grown-up for goodness sake!) if not in Philosophy then in the shadowy realms of esoteric literature: "I theorised then that the true timeline, as opposed to the mysterious illusory one which makes up the progression of our day-to-day lives is the line which stretches between UNKNOWING and ENLIGHTENMENT. Unknowing here is the true past, and enlightenment is the true future." If you've read Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5 you may remember how when the alien life forms examine humans they see not distinct beings with two arms and two legs and a head, but centipedes. Centipede's which are physically linear amalgams of Grandfather/Grandmother/Father/Mother/Son/Daughter. Maybe it's because FAMILY (in the Italian sense) is such a dominant theme to my life that I can vibe with this, but consider your ancestral identity and question, am I really ANY DIFFERENT from them, am I not just the expression of the coordinates mapped out in the genes of my parents. Are we really "getting anywhere"? It's significant to Vonnegut's approach that the "aliens" came from space, not (then) confused by the diurnal and seasonal rotations with which we delineate our existence. My wife would disagree with me with this static time notion, she's a scholar of Bergson, his elan vital is still forward-flowing, though Bergson rails against the facile dimensions of clock time. He famously explained away Xeno's paradox, which is the conundrum you face when "measuring" an athlete's movement along a stretch of track; the last metre at 25mph; the last centimetre at 25mph; the last millimetre at 25mph - the dude never crosses the finishing line. Anyway I'm not equipped with the proper tools to talk about the theory, unlike someone like Mark Fisher. I'll just sound like a wacko ;-D

HOWEVER, I've always thought the way music works backs up this "vision", THE PAST AINT HISTORY! In this sense "Enlightenment" (and thats where I come unstuck, who's to say what is "Enlightened"?) always constitutes the future, and is from time to time stretched a little further forward. In the same way the the past (unenlightenment) is pushed back by Justin Timberlake and Mike Batt. This version of time has it's pasts, presents and futures dispersed across the range of history. The whole terrain pocked with wormholes and quicksand.

FOUND!

Which rack?

Please allow me to introduce myself.

Now that Luka has discussed his position a bit, I thought I'd take the opportunity to fill you in on where my head's at. To file a kind of half-term report if you like. I'll try and be brief.

I was really flattered by the recent Wire thing. Less for where it was and for it's scale (let's be honest a few lines in the back of a jazz mag) than for who'd written it. I've had "glowing" press before for other of my projects and I'm still no nearer to converting any "talent" I have into money to buy Lulu a proper rattle. That makes me view publicity with suspicion. For the record my stats have only marginally improved since that piece, though I did score 1,000 downloads in one day for that last mix.

Which brings me to my next point. "1,000 downloads! Gee that's quite alot Matt, you must've got a fair few emails!" 2 actually. That's sad. And I've not enjoyed the recent scraps. And the nerdosphere can get quite claustrophobic. I'm under no illusion that I'd be an even bigger fool (than I already am) if I expected ANYTHING AT ALL for doing this blog. As Kodwo Eshun pointed out it's a gift economy. The act of blogging is effectively one of potlach.

On the other hand it serves to amuse me enormously. I've made some first class "mates-for-life"** who I couldn't have hooked up without it. I've had the opportunity to go head-to-head with the great thinkers. I've got a micro-job out of it (review gig). My wife thinks it's good for me too, which might come as a surprise to Simon, who's always gently chastening me for wasting time on it. Apparently I'm better humored, though she views me laughing at my private jokes with a mixture of infuriation and tenderness.

My animation course has now finished. I always scoff when I hear Luka on my case for writing about music (or whatever the hell it is I do here) when I should be doing comics. I'm actually drawing all day most of the time. Right now I'm pretty exhausted, less by the blog than by balancing college, work (which has been OK) and looking after the wife and baby. I think I'm a pretty dedicated father. Where do I find the time? Er, well I don't watch TV and I don't socialise much. Don't worry I'm not about to start on the details of my personal hygiene. There is a chance I might get a job off this course, big open day on Friday. If not, well there are plenty of other things in the pipeline.

I'm definitely going to be ploughing on to complete a year on this. You'll probably guess by the density of what I'm putting out (something The Wire piece has made me more concious of...wouldn't it be nice to prattle and link) that I'm not going to be able to sustain it forever. Well that was never the plan. It's January 11th 2004 or bust. Thanks for dropping by. I hope you enjoy it. Stay tuned for some more fantastic high jinx. There's some mutha's yet to come.

(Un)Coil(ing).

I was pleased Simon shared his opinions on the value of the MUSIK by the core Industrial gang. I guess my position is pretty clear. I'm not convinced by it and I'm like the rocking vicar when it comes to the seamy undertones. Eugh! Eden has been filing a spotter-ish 10 Best LPs of the Industrial Scene series (which I understand is to be printed on gold leaf and buried at Stonehenge when he completes it in 2117), so check that out if, like me, you're a non-believer.

In the meantime Coil are EVERYWHERE. Everyone who's anyone is giving them the nod and the wink. I picked up "Windowpane" on 12" the other day, partly out of guilt at not giving them any dues, but also because the "Astral Paddington" Mix of that track is really quite cool. The main mix however (which I'd never heard before) confirms all my suspicions. I can finger two similar "sounds" with quite deadening accuracy, the Happy Mondays circa "Bummed" and closer, almost depressing this, The Beloved. It's possible "Windowpane" predates the records in question (like, so what!); I can't for the life of me be arsed to do any research on the matter. My point would be, such lofty exstakic prose for THIS! I know the recent "Time Machines" stuff is in thrall of La Monte Young (my 'ero, the daft old tosser that he is). However somehow that seems anachronistic, though (yes) everyone else has picked up on the stark modernity of La Monte's music, but NOT it's opiated florid psychedelia.

Besides the "Astral Paddington" Mix, which IS great, the cover is also very noteworthy. Presumably stills from an ancient video, the colours evocatively saturated, capturing Balance, off his tits, at some loch-side at dusk. Reminds me of those messy dawns back in the day (aw shaddup grandad!)

Hard won spoils of the fame game.

You'd imagine I'd be delighted by Kodwo Eshun's hyperbolic write-up of TWANBOC in this months The Wire. Well let me tell you, oh naive pedant, those words cost me dear.

As is the usual proceedure with press of this sort, the article was run past Silvers and Hodge my entertainment lawyers. You'd not recognise the first draft. Naturally my opening demand was that Eshun about-face over The Pillbox. There was a tone of unbridled worship, an unhealthy fauning over Penman's "telekinetic flow" his "truly startling de-propriation of avant-garde thinking" his "glyphic inventiveness" and most displeasing an admiration for his "wide-screen cultural perspektiv", for crying out loud, this for a poxy music magazine! My only strong bargaining point this early in the negotiations being continuing high-profile plugs for his (ok truly stunning) oevre. Easy victory there.

I was happy enough about his comments on Blissblog, though suggested he remove a few paragraphs. My very gravest concerns were over my own write-up, which was sandwiched amongst those for a whole host of other (rabbits ears) minor blogs, those of the Spizzazz crew, Nathalie Phenotext, Scott Somedisco, Olly Time for Fear, John Uncarved, and Ozzie Angus, (allusions to which would have to be excised). Eshun described TWANBOC in the most unflattering of terms: "The smug and preening Ingram manages to know very little about a lot. An occupational hazard with blogs, he frequently descends into sub-Woody-Allen-esque self-loathing routines which this reader finds at best wearing. His sideways forays into flashy programming and graphics fail to detract attention from his lumpen protestant prose. Worst of all Ingram seems to be in the late throes of a paranoid delusion, taking sleight at the wholly innocent comments of his fellow bloggers and contributing to a general unease amid the enchanted online community." Disgraceful!

Eshun is, you might be surprised to hear, a bon viveur. The "offer" I tabled was a weeks' fishing on my beat on the Tweed in exchange for a greater degree of "co-operation". When Kodwo's people got back and informed us that wasn't going to change his tune we upped the stakes to include a dedicated gilly and a choice of the last weeks of August (the Salmon go CRAZY then!) If I may extend the fishy metaphor: That hooked him!

Yet more costly was Luka's entry. It should be no suprise to longtime readers of this particular "bit of crap" that I feel a responsibilty to the young heronbone chap, my wee nestling! I'm not even going to go into the particulars here of Eshun's original disparaging remarks, but it was nothing a brace of woodcock and a crate of port couldn't remedy.

Announcing the Winner!

Congratulations Job de Wit! You've saved me a fortune in cosmetics.

The winning answers:

1) Purple
2) Bryan Ferry
3) Richard Burton
4) 50 pence
5) "it's so stupendously ugly and oppressive"

A copy of "Batucada Fantastica" winging it's way over to the Netherlands!

...and this letter from...

Sometimes in the process of doing this blog I feel like Jimmy Saville atop a pile of Royal Mail, on other occasions a member of "Jackass for Music Journalists". It's all good! I love doing it, and I've noticed similar sentiments issuing from k-punk and The Pillbox.

There's been some great correspondence recently. First up, and I wasn't sure how to react to this, stomach-wrenching guilt or delight, I got an email from Alasdair Roberts. Did you remember my piece of Sunday April 27th? I quote (myself): "Alasdair Roberts: I’ve actually met this guy. He was singing these 13th century ballads on London Bridge Will Oldham style. I gave him 20p, then on second thoughts I went back, took all his earnings, and kicked him in the balls. Not that I condone violence of any sort." and "Richard Youngs: I’ve actually met this guy. He was singing these 12th century ballads on Waterloo Bridge Alastair Roberts style. I gave him 10p, then on second thoughts I went back, took all his earnings his guitar and floppy hat, kicked him in the balls and then pushed him over the edge onto a passing silage barge. Not that I condone violence of any sort, but occasionally it can be a crude but effective means to an end." Well I thought I got a bit carried away (titter) and how would you think those artists would feel about that? Yeah, one to consider definitely... And how did Alasdair respond: "Matthew, Thanks for the hilarious themed mention of me (and Richard Youngs) on your website. Love, Alasdair Roberts." So here's bigging up Alasdair for being a nice dude and EVERYONE has to go and buy his records. Especially Dave Howie/Cozen/I have Zero Money/Everything's Usable/Scout Sniper/A Catalogue of Wrecks/±Lack, whatever the fuck he's calling himself this morning...a word from the stoopid choose and stick...it's a brand thing ;-)

Next up an email from Jeffrey Wittliff: "My name is Jeffrey Wittliff. I am 14 years old. I wish to be a part of the hollow earth convention. I think it would be good to have a diversity of age at the convention. How can I become a member of the ISCE? Please send me the information. Thanks, Jeff." I love it when I get emails for the ICSE at www.hollow-earth.org. They're my longstanding neighbours. I think they begrudge me beating them to the dash.

Also this from DigitalDjigit on the tWist tip: "I am on the oldskool list that Twist started back in '98. He has since left (about 2-3 years ago) and I think he was talking about selling off his collection. He didn't come across as difficult to talk to (on the list anyway). He was one of the most intelligent members I thought and was an idealist about the whole rave thing (anti-capitalist and all that). I think he was into folk music as well. There's a few peeps on that list that are FAR more obsessive collectors than Twist. More records and more focused. Destiny, the list moderator comes to mind. He (destiny) is also involved with the Kniteforce (back again, releasing new stuff) crew, doing their website and even a release or two on the oldschool tip." Still searching for Mr.tWist the legend grows...

I managed to find ANOTHER Wiley show last night (he was on Desire Monday night with members of East Connection and N.A.S.T.Y. Crew...Luka found that) it was awesome stuff with Flow Dan and Wiley himself on form. But I forgot to hit the record button, doh! Still that's not the point, eh! It's all about living for the moment (curses!)

Literally hundreds of applicants for the "bIt oF cRAP" Summer Competition, my assistants are working full time to sift through the entrys. Though DO PLEASE remember to enclose the $10 entry fee...

Angus Maclise.

+ INTRO +

He was waiting at the top of the hill

In his high little house near the sky,

On a night of great longing, his mind

Being filled with a dazzling light.

It had become the center of the great world

And his imaginary embraces with

The scintilla of this great light

Brought him close to the storms

Which rage, without our knowledge,

At the perimeters of our immediate world;

Swept into the violent gales

He was visited there on that hilltop

By an announcing angel of terrific beauty.

Glistening with the signs of her station

And aspect, she handed him a letter

From a great bundle in her hand -

Sadder still...

New friend Cooper Bethea told me about these comps: The History of Our World Volume 1 and Volume 2. They've got nice Dave Nodz covers (Pedro Bell, Limonius, Alan Oldham AND Dave Nodz, dammnit I've nearly got an article here) and a great selection of tracks, but not nearly the depth of obscurity that I think is recquired. Here's my collection, which is OK. I'm always linking to this Excel document because it's SOOOO sad, something to be truly proud of. I get the varying spellings of Ruffige Cru down pat as well as the catalogue numbers.

But folks, there are MUCH sadder Ardkore collectors than my good self. I've only ever encountered him on the internet where he went by the pseudonyms of "Twist" and "Hungry Ghost". He used to run an FTP server which was DOMINATING, trust me stocked with the rarest tracks and stupendous volumes of them. Two years ago, after that site went down, I sent him a naggy email, he told me he'd dumped everything on Audiogalaxy, which was easier to maintain. "Twist" is the kind of dude who I imagine it would be difficult to have a coherent conversation with, a "monogeneric" collector like my Reggae pal Steve (I kid you not) Caruana, and Darren "I bought all of the African sub-continents records" Booker. The world would be an emptier place without such degrees of fanatacism. If there is to be an even 'arf decent ardkore comp, it needs to operate at these nutty levels. If anyone knows "Twist" get him to drop me a line.

Possibly the best Ardkore collection I know is Kodwo Eshun's "Routes from the Jungle". I'm talking here in terms of an "arty" reading of the era. Smile (based in NYC), who put out the "History of Our World" compilations, have a healthy rep, and strong connections to Moving Shadow. They might even be up to the task given their geography lends them a healthy perspective. Smile put out a great 2 Bad Mice Double LP as well as licensing loads of great Shadow stuff straight to 12". My fantasy Ardkore comp would probably be on Breakdown (the SubBase subsidiary who put out the greatest Jungle comps) compiled "Lenny Kaye-style" by Reynolds (gush gush) and it would definitely require some kind of suede or leather "luxury" packaging.

...more like EXTRA ordinary.

Got on the tube at Ladbroke Grove, and fuck me if that wasn't Dizzy Rascal sitting opposite me. Sounds like a bit of addled fiction, no? I've been around Dizzy before, and to be truthful I wasn't wholly sure, but the resemblance was scary as hell. What would you have done?

The tube swayed along the track. "Dizzy" checked his texts. I had a quick glance at a copy of Muzik in my bag. Thumbs to page 27. Yep, scary likeness. This dude all in black, peaked cap, hooded lids. But how to broach the subject? You don't want to fall down that: "Oh you think all black geezers look the same..." trap. I reason if I screw up I can change carriage, cringe elsewhere so. And time waits for no man so I lean forward:

"Excuse me mate, don't take this the wrong way, but you're not in Garage are you." Well put, all bases covered. He looks pleased, "It's just that I think I recognise you." "Yeah mate, everyone says I look like Dizzy Rascal." I breathe a sigh of relief. "So are you in a crew?", "Yeah Devil's Advocates, we do Freez FM on Mondays."

He's on his way to a party in Southall. Roll Deep and Nasty Crew are on the bill. But as we discuss, now they're getting big, those lot often do a "no-show". My friend says he's not even sure if he's gonna show up tonight. Devil's Advocates are one of a few crews from the West of London. The spotlight is very much on the East we both agree (the fuck I know). He asks what stations I catch. Deja Vu. Raw Mission. Bassline. Actually I'm a bit rusty this month. He seems quite surprised. Yeah I guess I'm not the picture of the demographic, though you know (primping myself) I don't look TOO untrendy. I wear trainers! I should get myself a wee portrait on here, like Auspicious Fish's one, on second thoughts... Does he know Scobee's lot? No.

We shake and he peels off. That was fun. I like accosting strangers. You're not meant to are you.

Out Raving...

Was with my mate Sacha last night. He's back from hot-footing around Switzerland (great silos of old vinyl there) buying records. Which he then sells to likes of (ooh gasp) Andy Weatherall and Jerry Dammers. Sacha was playing at a gallery opening and I was enrolled to keep him stocked with lager and fancy nibbles. Managed to roll my eyes at a few of his selections too, though you don't play Jean Schwartz and Pygmy records at a gig like this. The Mrs called up and spoke to him (Glaswegian accent), "tapping away on his wee phone is he?" She knows me too well that woman, I'd been making a list of the tunes he'd been spinning, cheap Blog material ya get me. Do I ever relax?

-----------------------------------------

Nina Simone: Baltimore.
Penman would have liked this, an amazing fake Reggae version of the Randy Newman tune. Sacha had it on a fat CTI 12", sounds like Grace Jones on codeine. Cheap drug reference I know, but so apt here.

Al Green: Light my Fire.
Popular improbable cover version, see also Jose Feliciano and Horace Andy.

Rob: Make it fast, Make it slow.
From the recent Ghana Soundz comp. These African reissues are pretty ace.

Kamale Orchestre: Lipua-Lipua.
Music from Zaire Volume 3 on the DERAM label. Sparking guitar and well-accurate 3 part harmonies.

Johnny Osbourne: We need love.
Bit of vintage Studio One action.

Glen Brown: Take a step in my direction.
Our hero, singing on one of his rock-hard riddims. Pantomime we love you!

Keith and Tex: Tonight.
Off the Trojan 10" re-issue. Sacha's cool like that, doesn't care too much for all that "it has to be a 'riginal 7" malarkey".

Mckay: Take me over.
Fun mash-up of old riddim with new vocals. Like those spate of wicked Steelie and Cleevie re-versions of 70s Roots hits with the original vocalists and sampled riffs but packing dancehall punch. Nice!

Peggy Lee: Manana.
From his Mum's collection. 50s US suburban hawaian-shirt barbecue action.

Willis Jackson: Nuther'n like Thuther'n.
Full bloodied Blue Note-styled Jazz-Funk. Like Horace Silver's "The Sidewinder" with balls.

Doctor Rockit: Cafe de Flo.
Aah Herbert!

Tom Silverster.
Quite Mutant-Dishco-y. "I'm a former music journalist...now on wheels!" Ian Penman.

Truby Trio: Jaleo.
Awful Gipsy Kings flamenco styled house. Orrible. I laughed at Sacha, poor bugger, I'm like his worst enemy.

Pepe Paddock: Get Down Dub Angola remix.
This was quite lovely, and I'm gonna track this down. Brings to mind the imminent third coming of My Life in The Bush of Ghosts. We're feeling that record at TWANBOC at the moment.

Flying Lizards: Money.
Blah Blah everyone loves it. The artist doing a swift trade selling her pictures downstairs beneath us.

Vivienne Goldman: Launderette.
Not just for me, we was in Ladbroke Grove and Sach felt like it. I got him this in Amsterdam 3 years ago. I'm generous like that.

The Specials: Ghost Town.
Shivers down our spines. We recollect the first time we heard it as kids. Sacha has a signed copy: "Sacre Bleu, C'est Sacha Dieu! Which Jerry "The Wolfman" Dammers gave him. Sach tells me a great story of how Jerry, I worshipped this man as a 9 year-old, showed him the organ he wrote "Ghost Town" on. Apparently the original had gone missing back-in-the-day, but he tracked down another one.

That love cats/missy elliott booty.
Bit of 2002 action ;-)

ESG: Moody.
Off the Soul Jazz reissue. It's a different mix than on the EP spotters! Not as cold and cavernous either!

Zapp: More Bounce to the Ounce.
My selection, I'm tired and going home. Sacha proably up there for a couple more hours. Great evening. Extraordinary meeting on the tube, which I'll share with yous later. I'm out like a trout.

Production.

The Bard of Stratford, the music journalist's poet has been holding forth against production values. For the sake of starting an argument I totally disagree (I'm getting the hang of the tub-thumping rant thing!) I find ANY culture oblivious to production bordering on the worthless. It's an unpopular thing to say I know. One's supposed to extol the virtues of the handmade blind to the quality of presentation. However the best DIY culture is always made to the most thorough standards possible. I believe the romanticisation of low production values is tied in (bogus-ly) to a woefully innacurate notion of "The Primitive" and Third World Culture. Those Third World denizens always take exquisite care in the production of their work.

And while I'm on the subject of thee amateur-ish The Punman is breaking my heart. He's taunting "record fan-boys" (Which I now take as the default term for me. I represent, ya get me! In da house!) that his archives of Deek (yes that's Deek NOT Derek) Bailey-styled pickings are not available for reissue. They sound like they might be the aural equivalent of Luka's blog (Fair?), and while I respect both poets with an intensity bordering on insanity, that may not be such good thing.

Penman also shares with us his mid-Paul Weller review epiphany. Ian, mate, slagging off Paul Weller's records is a creative act on a par with the opening chords of The Stooges "TV Eye". Get over it! Everything that is bad about Music Journalism is it's strength. Maybe I know fuck all (thinks, yep that's true) and certainly it's the prerogative at HIM AT THE TOP OF THE PILE, to indulge in "I'm too worthy" langours. But if it's not a "worthwhile" discipline, thank fuck!

On balance I think Eden is right. Luka's just lucky to be able to get away with it.

Bottom of the Fridge.

First up a big hi to Dan Curtin who dropped me a nice note to say that "Biotic" is one of his tracks, not Kenny Larkin's. Dan is also NOT from Detroit, but I reckon (unlike Mark Ryder, honcho of SubBase too? I'm unsure but...) he's gonna have to reconcile himself to a 313 zip code. I love it when famous people email me! By the way Reynolds said (clears throat) "Amazing Detroit piece!" so he's not mad at me. Why should he be anyway? Back to work now Simon.

Second, Wotcha to Marcus at Rephlex who put out a Future Sounds Compilation (Chicago). I mentioned this already, but GO BUY! I was a bit down on some of the UK Techno crew, which naturally doesn't include the Rephlex stuff, different game going on there. Some of the early stuff (groan) is really nice. I have all those B12s and ARTs and even a few of Slater's early 12's as well as a well-documented Black Dog fetish (all their stuff AMAAAZINNGG). But later on (quite quickly) that scene just doesn't have the same frisson for me, sorry guys. There were too many other splendid things going on.

Great spotter-ish stuff at Eden's. I intend to find a copy of "Heathen Earth", Meme also rates it highly. On the subject of Paul check his GREAT Ragga mix at Bassnation as well as Eden's New Roots mix. Ah what chums we are!

Hello also to the Techno crew Maarten and Marsel, who's site I can't log on to, I'm presuming because it's so mash-up over there.

I've been listening to the Dizzy Rascal LP, squeezing it in here and there (suddenly I'm massively busy with work, how did that happen?) Here is my review:

"It's great! It's slow!"

In my role as (ahem) one of the UK Garage Ambassadors I've made Jay Shorthand and Portuguese Jose (both died-in-the-wool Metallers like myself) swear they'd check it out. Watch that space! I should have mentioned to Tim Skykicking that I have an embargo on ALL slow UK Garage. Sorry, no one else is allowed to write about that!

Finally, my fave track right now? 50 pence "In Da Pub" of course! Why isn't everyone raving about it? I'll bet they like it at Spizzazzz. Been trying to get Luka to team up with me (I need his kid-sterati cred, gotta keep up with these young fellows) to do 50 bytes "In Da Blog". Stay tuned!

Industrial Strength Acid.

Funny and sly open letter from Paul Meme. I'd put the On-U project under some other heading. And Neubauten. And 23 Skidoo. And Joy Division. And Colourbox. And Cabaret Voltaire. As for Lee Perry and Miles Davis! Though granted with CV it becomes a "greyer area", greyer still with Killing Joke.

Paul actually made an interesting point about the bleed from Industrial Music into Acid House. Many of the "Industrial" crew got fed up with the misery and boredom of the scene, and chucked in the towel (or re-visioned themselves, depending on how you view the transformation). 400 Blows, who Paul checks, featured The Moody Boys' Tony Thorpe. Youth was the bass-player in Killing Joke. And Weatherall was a TG disciple etc. Psychic TV (Gen) gave us Jack the Tab. Even the "core-players" went day-glo, Coil's "Love Secret Domain" for instance. In truth even Detroit outfits like Jeff Mills's "Final Cut" were evolving out of that other spin on "Industrial" music, Belgian Hard Beat (Nitzer Ebb et al).

If I was being naughty I'd ascribe this to another of those "Ha Ha look who else is claiming to have invented Techno" asides. Isn't it amazing how so many scenes started throbbing in synch with one-another at the dawn of Acid? How much common ground was created through ecstacy! Of course it wasn't solely to do with the drugs. In the study of the English Language there are similar moments when a whole range of interlocking factors suddenly click into position and produce a monumental reorganisation. "The Great Vowel shift" for one. It'd be a really cool project to do a "Pre-Energy Flash" tome, kind of like the Star Wars prequel, to Reynolds's dance music book. Any publishers up for sending me down a rabbit hole?

Aphex Twin Correction.

"If it's the mix I'm thinking of, it's actually Meat Beat Manifesto. The confusion seems to be down to a mislabelled MP3."

From Phil Wilkins, I've snooped about a bit and he must be right. To my eternal shame. Hope Marcus at Rephlex isn't reading this. I was so delighted when I first ID'd that track. I had a tape of that set Derrick did, and that particular track eluded me for years. Other highlights were Fingers Inc "Can U Feel it?" sped up to +8 with the treble EQ'd in and out, what sounded like a dubplate mix of Mayday's "Phantom", and Interceptor's "Forever" (I'll dig Murk till the day I die). Derrick used to LOVE playing at Pure, folk went totally wild, those parties were infinitely more unhinged than you'd suspect with the sterile reading Techno gets vis-a-vis Ardkore. Maybe everyone was too uptight in London. You know, too concerned with the track listing ;-) That tape got nicked from my car in 1993. I hope the twat who stole it enjoyed it, or died soon after (one or the other, I'm not too picky)

Losing my cool...

Open letter to Jon Eden and Paul Meme.

Quote from an email from Paul Meme:

"I'm saying your critique of industrial music is unfair and unbalanced. You can't raise the spectre of satanic child abuse without engaging with the veracity or rather lack thereof of that phenomenon. You certainly set up a manichean post-Xtian dichotomy where industrial music is at the "bad, dark, evil" end and some sort of "white light" Xtianity is at the other end without engaging in a more intelligent analysis of what is purported to be "evil" and in particular what is purported to be "good".

(excerpted)

I'm quite comfortable with you slagging off crappy exploitative industrial music -- been there, done that, got the t-shirt. You should have seen the anti-exploitation flyers me and John used to send off back in the old days. What I am not comfortable with is having the whole scene, the whole philosophical position, being jammed together as if it were all equally intellectually and spiritually bankrupt, which is not the case, and more especially when you accuse the whole lot of being conducive to "real evil" without thinking through just who is evil and who wreaks the most damage.."

I'm beginning to sense through your (and the excellent Biroco blog) that there is a well-weathered form of discourse in the culture you emerge from of "the rant", brow-beating and one-upmanship. Fired up with a few pints at the Dog and Duck surrounded by fellow "ranters" all having a larf it'd make perfect sense. I can picture the camaraderie and "bonhomie".....

(Apologising for responding irately to Paul's previous and blunter email) Maybe it just doesn't carry online unless you're acquainted with it. As for the content of what I've said well, who cares if we're in agreement? I'm beginning to suspect that while there is a healthy coalesence online with the blogs, a chummy consensus, there is also a danger of homogeneity. That's part of the reason I took k-punk to task. Stylistically superficial in one sense, but a serious issue too. We don't want one HUGE lovey dovey bundle of agreement? Do we? We want difference to be respected!

Thought about the industrial thing long and hard. Paul thinks I'm positing Christianity at one end and Satanism at the other. I think you (Uncarved) spotted that I wasn't. I've no truck with either really. Two sides of the same coin. I don't see a Transendental Positivism (form a queue, no pushing at the back!) having much to do with either. My main problem with that scene is that, and this is the third time I've said it*, it's project revolves around using symbols society construes negatively in a positive manner. But that often it just becomes about "rolling around in the muck."

Vis a vis Satanic Panic. I had no idea you were involved in that Gen Porridge thing. (Eden apparently nearly arrested on the basis of totally unfound allegations) Crikey you guys! I know all about that actually, and from interviews with him believe the rumours were unfounded. In the piece I wrote I was referring to something quite else I'd seen (and gee thanks for bringing it up). It wasn't a TG record sleeve. Also with regards to the experiences of my friend in Glasgow- this is all first-hand stuff, not from the press. From the things up at uncarved (yikes), and Jon's comments on the blog I sense that your not ENTIRELY in disagreement. Paul mentioned anti-exploitation rallies you'd attended etc.

I'd like to be able to be kinder about the music. You're obviously acquainted with the Industrial movement as a CULTURE, as such it's very rich and deep. However, the music seems ancillary to the scene, not even the focal point for gatherings like Talking Stick. Industrial music seems to exist outside the rhizomes that thread most other musics together. Points of entry from other musics are few and far between, stronger threads link it to literature and occult practise. A music which essentially performs a totemic or social function sets my alarm bells ringing. Notwithstanding the fact that music without an attendant culture is empty and flat, I want to hear music which is PRIMARILY a sonic experience. Only bits and pieces of "Industrial" music I've heard have managed to transcend this.

As for lumping it all together, well maybe that is a bit wicked of me. Some contributors have said NWW don't belong in there. However I've heard TG, Whitehouse, Coil, NWW and Current 93 all complain in separate interviews that they were unhappy with being lumped in the "Industrial scene". That's so rich! Refuse entry at the door for paying customers wearing fellow-travellers T-shirts or sporting facial piercing, ponytails, stovepipe hats, penny spex or wispy goatees then! Yeah unfair to tar EVERYTHING with the same brush, but this scene sure as hell clings together. That Keenan book will set the glue like the second tube of Araldite.

Dubya likes Coil you know. He has all their CDs.

Christian Marclay.

What a great image! Marclay's curious. I'd find him really interesting if he wasn't working within the context of the exhibition. He's a bit like Mike "Destroy All Monsters" Kelley in that way. I don't get why putting the iconography of music within the gallery is illuminating. The gallery is like a fridge, it kills all life, makes it possible to analyse. I don't believe that it strips work of meaning per se, alot of artists make interesting work at this junction. It's just that music (emotion, sensation, involvement) isn't served by dessication. If Marclay was making a cold point about the machinations of the music industry then maybe I'd feel his stuff works as gallery art, but it's attraction lies in it's fetishism and record-collecting puns. Still there's loads of really fun things he's done. That floor of records you could walk over (the horror!), dragging that amped-up guitar behind a truck (from David Toop's Hayward Exhibition) and these record-sleeve collages are ace.

Penman--->PCMan

"I mean, thanks guys, to all the tech-heads I know ... who've written in saying, oh, Ian, but it's so simple!, just reconfigure your GIFs on an editing plane like Word and then copy, cut, paste, tie up, shoot up, nod out, and then re-rout your bunny ears thru a klactoveesedstein programme. Not forgetting to tie down your mainframe if there's a small wind blowing from the South. Well, yeah. But WHY SHOULD I?"

Not strictly a musicological observation, but falling within the context of one of my recurrent themes, that's to say plagueing celebrated music theorists (holds own head in hands...just ask Marcello). Noticed what almost looked like a reply from Penman, except for the fact that Julie Birchill and Tony Parsons probably proferred the same advice. He's cast BLOGGER as the enemy in this (semi-) hilarious ongoing fight with anonymous technological forces. In the old days I imagine they'd write their subjective 10,000 word free-flowing surrealist NME reviews on the dewey windows of the staff office, before absconding to the recesses of World's End to shoot amphetamine with the ghosts of Rimbaud and Celine. And yet the presses still ran! Self publishing innit, one does the hard bit too. (Autobiographical note) Did you know my Great-great-grandfather founded the Illustrated London News? Family business for a couple of generations. The first newspaper with pictures! First magazine? How the mighty...etc...etc...

Imagine if the the cheap package holiday that is electronic music encountered the same egotistic intransigence. There would have been no Ardkore if every pimple with a cracked copy of Cubase said: "I REFUSE to co-operate with this, it crashes all the time!" No, that's no fair, he does keep wrestling very publicly with his crackling interface. Maybe one day a real-live bug-in-the-bassbin will perform Burroughs on his text. Then he'll quit grumbling.

Not forgetting.

Agony Shorthand
Who has also been talking about Amoeba Records in San Francisco (his local store, the bastard) and Scritti Pollitti. Nice lean posts with some great links, not least to Hyped to Death who are selling the AMAZING Messthetics CD-R series.*

*Do I qualify for a reduction NOW?

Silence.

The music blogs look like they've died a death! We'll let Reynolds off because he's GOT to work on that book. But to be honest ALL the other crew who've rushed into the fray have disappointed. Looks like Kodwo Eshun did a smart thing by holding back. I did send him those records you know, and despite letting him off the hook he swears he's gonna do one. Actually I hope he doesn't, maybe that's the push he needs ;-). Emoticons screw up your sentence structure. Had a good look around the other night (very thorough scan of about 30 blogs) and for my money the only people worth reading are this lot. Take note:

Heronbone
Luka is untouchable. Came in for HEAVY praise from Kodwo Eshun in an email to me. Fancy that!
somedisco
Scott gets better all the time. He sounds more relaxed too. Stuff flows. I was gripped by his recent Tony Wilson piece.
Uncarved
Jon doesn't update too much, but his aesthetic is bang-on.
k-punk
Well you can't knock that shit! I'd like to see Mark talk about a soul record one time though...something warm for a change. Mark's address: Bromley, The Arctic, The World, The Universe.
Everything's Usable
Well I'm not so sure about Cozen's trip, but dammnit he writes with an intensity.

Heard some backchat at ILM about the blogs from my man Jess, and couldn't help but nod to myself. Word at the boards is that blogs are BORRINNG! So if you're a blogger see if you can't find something more meaningful to write about than your own suicidal tendencies or the weather.

...etcetera.

Mmm.

I like The Stones. Which is the equivalent of saying: "I like white bread." One can't get that exited about it, but life without them would be poorer. And maybe you think they are a boil on the bottom of culture, and that the only sensible starting point of culture is P.I.L's "Metal Box" well yadda yadda yadda!

But consider this. The Stones, when they were at their peak (Aftermath->Exile) really mattered in the USA in a way NOTHING which comes out of Britain does anymore. I can quite easily get all nostalgic for that in the same way Tony Blair does. My pal Paul Kennedy (a big shot if you read between the lines) fixes up the Tower chain stateside with UK imports. He harangues all the Tower outlets across America (and that's an independent store didn't you know...one boss!) to stock British records. Man he's got his work cut out! In the early seventies he'd have had a fleet of limos.

I had a copy of Exile which I sold in 1996 when I decimated my collection. I showed up at the M&V with (I think) 31 boxes. Yikes! It was one of a few records which I mildly regretted passing on, others include Little Feat's "Sailin Shoes", The Band "The Band", Earth Wind & Fire "That's the way of the World" and Sonic Youth's "Sister", not obscure stuff, though there was plenty of that that got flushed, but just plain old nice records.

I was visting San Franciso in January 2000 and spent some time in Amoeba records, which is a pretty vaste second-hand store at the end of Haight street by the park. I don't care what people say, that area still has a vibe of excitement and danger. I came across a copy of "Exile on Main Street" for $1.95. Perfect condition, original pressing, lovely thick cardboard sleeve and, what sold it to me (again) was what was written on the sleeve. CIAPPONI. Some guy, and I imagined some working class, no fuckin' nonsense American-Italian dude who liked his pasta, drove a chevvy, went to the disco, looked a bit like an ugly Travolta, had loadsa fuckin bruddas, first name Tony, owned this record. And he'd written his name on it. You think I'm guessing wrong? Well I reckon middle class WASPS don't tend to write on their records, and they don't tend to sell them, they'll stow them away in their oversize appartments. That's the level The Stones got to. Why is Britain now so parochial that it can't produce culture which can cross these divides? You hear this desire to "Break America" being spouted all the time by tawdry greedy saddos. "Breaking America" is not about PR or hard gigging it's about the artists having an encompassing vision*, and nowadays they're such pygmies. Yunnuh! America is an invention! Don't forget that!

I'm now gonna hastle all the West coast bloggers to buy the Dizzy Rascal record....fat chance HE stands stateside. Like Reynolds says it'll be just like The Streets, unless we get lucky (fingers crossed).

*like Dido fer chrissakes!

Satanic Mills.

Unwittingly started a discussion with my cleric's rant at k-punk. Eden reflects on a few of the points brought up and follow his links to even more vile stuff.

Cycled home trying to figure out why I find violence and unacceptable attitood OK in Ragga and HipHop, yet get all flustered about Bank Clerks making pentagrams and lighting candles. It's probably to do with my own background. Church everyday between the age of 7 and 18. I'll admit that music for me probably fills the gap left by religion. Not as a substitute faith, but as a superior practice. I DO admit the bleak and black (culture aspiring to depict the truth or evidencing gothic dread*) but have difficulty stomaching the wilfully perverse and the defilement of my (daft) foundational touchstones**. I did touch on what I believe is the primary tactic of "Industrial" Culture, the alchemaical detournement of sleaze, but often, and now I'm repeating myself, find that the practitioners, despite what they're saying, are more excited by rubbing society's nose in it's own excrement than making the world a better place.

Marcello on Resonance FM.

Marcello is on Resonance 104.4FM at 7pm tonight so if you're in London tune in. He's playing a mixed bag of No Wave and Mutant Disco. While he's only been allotted an hour and a half don't be suprised if he stretches it out over a few days.

In another "blogger-to-planet-earth-re-entry" scenario Freaky Trigger have a club night. Which is really annoying because I had the same idea and they beat me to the punch.

It has also been rumoured that Big Dave Howie has started his own Glaswegian Golden Pop label called "Spangle". The first release is by a reformed line-up of The Proclaimers (only one of the twins, the other now in Telephone marketing). Production courtesy of Stephen Pastel (in glitch mode) with Eddi Reader on backing vocals. I've heard a snippet of the promo, and its quite spectacular.

Nice try Dave, but where are the arty black and white photos to back up YOUR argument?

Dave Pallaitis dropped me a line:

"gimme gimme on 5th st between first and second i swear is better than either a1 or sound library: fair prices, random find factor and an almost always empty turntable for pre-listening. only open fridays and saturdays."

Eh! Where? You bastard Dave! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?

Crazy like Patrick Swayze, Shallow like Vincent Gallo.

Found this in my wife's copy of Vogue which I peruse from time to time for talent. Afforded me great pleasure. Gallo is totally hilarious. My favourite line comes in response to the question "Who's your favourite fashion designer?" Also must be the only time EVER that This Heat gain a mention in a lipstick glossy. This is "on thread" after the recent Naomi bashing and my New York trip. Part 10 of the doomed in-house series attempting to reintroduce glamma into stuffy boys music.

Fools Like Us.

Seems like I'm not isolated in thinking Nellee was involved with Naomi's LP. The good doctor at k-punk came back to me with this:

"After extensive research - it took me fucken ages to find out - I have discovered that babyowman was actually produced by Youth, Gavin Friday and Bomb the Bass."

It seems mean to turn on Naomi, she has the whole of conventional society booing her. I'll bet this record accrues curio status, like Leonard Nimmoy sings.

Some fluff from my belly-button.

I'm a frustrated musician. Aged 9 I spent 7 years trying to play the violin.

I had many violin teachers, they frequently washed their hands of me. One was called Mr Burns. He played lead in the Bristol Orchestra. I spent our lessons making him talk about himself and getting him to perform little tricks for me so as to avoid having to play "Row your boat" AGAIN out of tune.

It's not that I didn't practise. I would trudge to the music schools three times a week. I'd spend about 3 or 4 minutes struggling with "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and then forty more "improvising" FMP style. Hours would pass with me stuck in one of those cubicle-styled rooms busking in G. I wonder if the free crew would find value in my untamed exploits, whether I too might have carved a career like Derek Bailey. I'm kidding.

I was also, and this was after 5 or 6 years, completely confused by the printed score. I would mimic and guess. The notes looked faintly like chinese icons to me. On this principle I once wrote a song called "The Dancing Penguin" which I gave to my godfather. My parents, suddenly and unaccountably displaying an interest in me, their prodigy, asked him to perform it on the piano. Jesus Christ it was sheer goggledey-gook! Why put him on the spot? My godfather looked at it, took his specs off, ummed and aahed offered everyone a cup of tea, lead us into the garden....

I was such a persistent boil on the bum of the music school that they asked me to be in the Third Violins. I was quite nervous. Under no real impression of actually being able to play. I went to all the practises. Even at the concert we performed I was doing nothing but sawing backwards and forwards. Guessing the orchestra's general mood and tone. Crucially, and this was the key, making my bow go up and down in time with everyone else's. Drowned out in the din. Keeping it quiet. Turning my pages occasionally. Looking comitted.

After 7 years (and I'm not exagerating) I scraped my Grade One by three points and decided to call it a day. My violin, wrapped in half a red satin sahree which a Maharajah had rent in two and dramatically given to my Grandmother, sits in a drawer at home patiently. One day I've sworn to myself I'll persist. As soon as I've sound-proofed the basement.

Covers and Inside Gossip.

1. Eden says The Human League did a cover of Rock'n'Roll Part Two.

2. Jose Marmeleira says Run DMC also did a cover of ZZ Top's Just got Paid.

3. Argabright said of John Foxx: "Well, I have to agree with your friend who holds John & early Ultravox in high regard." Apparently worked with their guitarist!

4. My mate Ken from the office I squat in says he's mates with Foxx.

5. Eden says Pita Rehberg of Mego who he went to school with is "a total nutter" (a high compliment in these parts) and turned him onto Psychic TV and Foetus.

So there!

Ike Yard Missive.

Damn I LOVE doing this "blog". Though have you noticed how the word is queerly beginning to induce the same wince as "bling"? Neologists get busy.

Yesterday I got an email from Stuart Argabright of the legendary Ike Yard. If you downloaded those mp3s from that link I posted you'll know that this is some hardcore sh**. Ike Yard had an astonishingly modern sound. SA is being plain factual when he says they were 20 years ahead of their time.

Picture a texture-obsessed No Wave outfit (contemporaneous with all that guitar-fixated stuff) working on synths playing/plying superb ebbing rhythm. A prodigal NYC crew picking up on pre-echoes of DAF and Neubauten. A tramp in some forgotten east-european bunker cowering from retribution of a cold war crime, endlessly perfecting mantras on a oil drum.

"Not many (a few dozen) knew the group when it was going on (effectively '80 -'82) but between placing the "NCR" cut on Gomma's "AntiNY" and the MP3's on www.MP3it.com, we have gotten some little notice here and there.

Probably that will change now that we are planning /scheduling the 'Complete Ike Yard ' rerelease (the Crepescule EP '81 & the Factory America Album '82 plus quality musik from before and after those records, 30 or so tracks in all/no filler allowed). With every other group /band (notable or not) doing rereleases we figure 'hey, why not ?' Esp. as we worked at and made 'our own sound'.

Very few groups did electronic music as we did bk then, and we were possibly the only group that had the synth tech and ability to have all members synced to the drum machine and triggering out -as a 4 member group ..."

So fancy that! We're a right bunch of lucky bastards, eh!

Let's all make a Scottish Record!

Wickedly funny email from Marcello , I quote:

"...of course, a harder man than me would say that every time SW's made an album, the "celebrated" voice of the time then proceeds to make (one) which rips it off completely ("Lodger," "Perhaps," "Kid A") ;-)"

Immediately bringing to mind Julian Cope's description of St.Julian as his "Scottish" LP.

Antipodean Post-Punk.

I was scrabbling round Agony Shorthand yesterday trying to find this link, where my mate philT has posted loads of Australian Post-Punk mp3s. I'd cleaned it out a few weeks before under Jay's suggestion. And then this morning philT himself emailed me the link. Aaah! Good to see the hive mind working properly...

Holler.

Not forgetting this!
Which I've put a blur on so you don't hurt your eyes. Spice Girls "Holler". Damn fine track. Courtesy of Rodney "Darkchild..I rip off Timbaland...where am I now" Jenkins. Who also brought us Brandy's masterpiece "What about us?".

Is he joking? Is he serious? The way I figure, If you're gonna destroy your rep, you might as well do it swiftly with style.

NYC PP Ommission.

Paul SciFiSoul bought it to my attention that I left out Ike Yard from my East-Coast top 10 obsurities. If I had an Ike Yard record, it would have featured (prominently). Believe me, the slightest opportunity to show off and I'm there. However I've a handful of Ike Yard mp3s which I got (a long time before you....) from here which is a very cool little site, also featuring a canny wee history of the band.

Retro in the Red.

Recently I reported that Strut had gone bust. Now it seems so have Nuphonic. Two great Retro-Revival records down the tubes (shakes head). Be sure to pick up the Nigeria 70 CD (a truly WONDERFUL project, and better featured than the LP, more tracks!) and those Loft box sets before they disappear through the cracks.

My good friend Steve Caruana told me the other day that in his opinion the best Reggae investment these days were all the re-issues of stuff that’s rarer than hens teeth. It’s no time be snobby!

Dystopian Synthesiser Barometer.

Moving Cabs-vs-Clash stuff at Blissblog and K-Punk. Despite having a fondness for Erik Davis's writing, the SO WHAT thought is sometimes near the surface.You can nicely tie-in people's feelings towards Technology (and cyber-culture) with the ways in which they approach electronic music.

Techno-optimism always seems to go in waves. It's at it's peak in US culture circa McLuhan (Tonto's Expanding Head Band and Raymond Scott- playing Techno to babies) then takes heavy hits throughout the 70s. In the US Tech became the wrongdoer behind everything from Watergate/Three Mile Island/Vietnam. Maybe UK punk's gee-tar rudimentariness had as much to do with a connected "wholesome" anti-synth attidude as anything else (esp.The Clash) When synths regained currency once more it was as a tool with which to induce terror, through a manipulation of the dominant cultural feeling. Detournement innit. Used effectively at the hands of Japanese and German youth to emotionally terrorise the West.

I've always thought that the synths in Electro and Detroit Techno were aimed at striking fear in to the heart of mainstream America. But slowly, and especially amid the growing (post Jaron Lanier) bubble of techno-optimism, the synth sound once again stood for everything shiny and bright. Ambient etc. Sure sampling has made a nonsense of this. Computer music no longer has to sound as such. Though I'm sure the Avant-folk crew are riffing on ideas like these.

Woops!

Got emails from Dominic Goudie and Marcus at Rephlex telling me that the Batty Dread record was not the work of Chris Morris but rather that of a builder from Nottingham called Danny Birtwhistle. Apparently Danny was interviewed for Muzik magazine. I missed that, didnt pick up the mag, at least I got something right.

Was rooting around for people to blame for making me look even stupider than I usually do, those bastards at Soul Jazz (rolls up sleeves....just wait till I get......) then I got the crowning glory an email from N*** K***** who runs the ace gabba.net. Nick thanked me for turning him onto the record (ha ha....puffs out chest...my pleasure old chap) then informs me he actually works for Morris!

Get this, Nick took the Batty Dread record in one morning and played it to Morris who "...didnt bat an eyelid" saying "Nope, nothing to do with me!" Nick actually assumed his chain was being yanked by La Grande Dame but found out later it was indeed true.

May I wipe the egg from my face!

Old Folk.

Just talking to my best pal Sacha.

Sacha was haunting one of his old stomping grounds, the charity shops on the North End Road. Apparently you can pick up good bargains there, unlike at most of the mainstream charity shops in London which have become rather "together".

Sacha is actually barred from a number of record stores which he's gleefully cleaned out, and then altruisticly told the owners afterwards that they should watch their pricing. What's he thinking! I'm far more covert......

Anyway my old pal found a couple of nice things, a Nonesuch Explorer compilation LP for 40p (bits and bobs of world music from this increasingly valued label, man I used to ignore their shit) and a compilation of Folk music called "The Roses", featuring amongst others Peggy Seeger. He paid £1 for this second record.

Sacha then went up to the Music and Video Exchange in Notting Hill. Upstairs to the rarities department. Working behind the counter was Dick. He's the guy with the enormous flowing white beard, who can seem grumpy but is actually very sweet. Sacha hands him the English Folk record which Dick happily gives him £25 credit for.

Then Dick looked closely at the cover. It had been in the Music and Video Exchange before. In fact Dick noticed that he himself had once marked it's price down from £2.50 to £2. Over twenty years ago!

Lotta Continua.

I got tremendous pleasure from the Lotta Continua: Roots Music and The Politics of Production article sent to me from my dub-marxist pal John Eden. My favourite bit was this, loosely in reference to the Reggae practice of re-versioning old tracks:

“There is no ‘first time’ but only ‘again’ of certain popular tracks being played over and over on the Sound-system. Such tracks represent a peculiar nexus: not just a tryst between ‘first persons’ of the DJ and producer (an assemblage of expression), but a well-protected ‘eternal return’ whereby those participating in a living culture produce a context through which they can realise the surplus value of their living labour (an assemblage of reception). The labour of the past is therefore not squandered and wasted (the ‘murder of the dead’ of capitalist production), but re-activated on to spar with the living labour of the present. Marx understood this cultural revolutionary effect when in a letter to Ruge he wrote: “Mankind will not begin any new work, but will consciously bring about the completion of its old work”. Originality, then, as the marker of bourgeois cultural legitimation in the West becomes more than a misnomer and operates as an oppressive cultural-structuration that seeks to deter a wider-scale production of culture……”

I really felt this. Not least as someone who worries about being too Retro. In fact it’s about the best argument for Retro I’ve ever heard. I was about to join the brothers at the barricades (clutching my share portfolio) but then I slept on it.

I’m going keep my critique of this piece by Howard Slater to the points in hand. Thing is I believe the good Mr. Slater has a soft-focus perspective of how politicised roots music was. The opening tract of the article features a snippet from the film Rockers in which a record producer warns a cop about the ramifications of taking on the recording business: “Once these jokers get hungry enough to start trading without you, then you’re finished, then law and order is finished in the whole area”. Slater sees this as prima facie evidence that the Reggae Music Industry is in some way a threat to the status quo. I think he’s making the mistake of mapping too altruistic aims onto the music industry. What we’re seeing here is two competing strains of capitalism, not capitalism in competition with Marxism/Anarchism.

Sure there were strong currents of Marxism in Jamaica at the time. Prime Minister Manley told the USA to get lost (they’ve been back-pedalling ever since) and snuggled up to Castro and African Communist states like Angola. It clearly cost them the security of their economy, which was previous to this largely being propped up by a small trickle of American Investment. Manley was a crazy bastard and surely had some New Testament cosmic profile of himself, no doubt reinforced by Bob Marley who propped up the campaign trail for Manley, helping him secure the ghetto vote.

Roots music certainly did offer a space for an expression of these kind of politics. Slater pinpoints the proliferation of minor labels which got set up, quoting Burning Spear: “Although we was up against the establishment it actually wasn’t so hard, because then you didn’t have to go to one of the big studios to get your record made.” However while there were a whole heap of little labels (Dread at the Controls, Morwells Esquire, Jackpot, Rockers, Jah Life, Monicas, Negusa Nagast, Song Bird, Pantomime, Propherts, Virgonian etc) many of these were freelancers hiring other people’s studios to cut a few tunes. Glen Brown, Augustus Pablo, Big Youth, Yabby U, Jimmy Radway and even Lee Perry himself (early on) rented other big studios for sessions. And even if they did use their own studios, Willie Lindo’s outfit where Burning Spear recorded his stuff is out in the country on the north coast at Ocho Rios (been there), they would have used the usual avenues of distribution. The same record stores, big dances and radio airplay to sell their stuff.

Slater discusses stoned sessions in Lee Perry’s yard in which everyone would be expected to chuck a bit of chicken or fish in the pot with dewy-eyed sentimentality. This is not some north Italian commune! Lee Perry was a shit who would do anything to avoid paying his artists. Sure let them hang out get tree-d and fill their bellies, but that was it. The same ruthless capitalistic instincts would have been found at all the big popular profitable studios (Channel One, Bunny Lee’s, Joe Gibbs, Impact, Studio One).

One can grant a certain generosity of spirit to the string of (often talented) punters who trekked to the studio desiring to record their little tune. But by in large all the producers were, well, cunts. Certainly not riffing on utopian ideals, even mid-roots. The big producers probably saw Roots as being effectively pitched at gullible foreigners wanting to hear Black Radicalism. This doesn’t necessarily mean the recording artists didn’t believe in what they were espousing. But once the artists are as big as Marley or Burning Spear you wonder. The only Reggae producer I’ve heard anyone talk about with respect was Keith Hudson. Apparently he paid well and on time. However Keith had a profitable primary profession, as a dentist.

For me what all this boils down to is that YES in terms of the sonics (and Slater talks interestingly about the suggested politics of dub) and conveyed attitude of the lyrical content of Roots Reggae there is a good deal of utopianism. But in terms of whether Roots is “offering an example of the re-appropriation of a totality of the means of production into its different ‘specialised’ moments as a means of creating monetary value” and “is a political threat to the rule of capital for many reasons”, I’d have to say NO.

Moan, Moan, Moan.

Just got a delivery in the post from John at Uncarved a wicked Ragga Roots CD (listening to it right now, no ID3 tags shame on you John!) and a fucking cool article, on what distinctly looks like paper, by a certain Howard Slater entitled "Lotta Continua: Roots Music and The Politics of Production". You think that sounds all academic and stuffy? I think it looks fucking hilariously brilliant. Check the Bibliography on the back....er fumbles to back of creased photocopy.....Walter Benjamin "Author as Producer", Graham Birtwistle "Living Art", Gilles Deleuze "Cinema Two", Pierre Klossowski "Diana at her bath", Karl Marx "The German Idealogy" (ha ha this is ferreal), and er Toni Negri "Social Struggles in Italy"...oh look also Pier Aldo Rovatti with the seductively titled "The Critique of Fetishism in Marx's Grundrisse". Just wait till I get this to The Weathered Rock of Stratford.

I'm always slagging off The Wire for being all high-brow and ivory tower. I've actually been begging them for work recently. It's all envy and jealousy I tell you. I'd kill for Philip Sherburne's job. In fact I'd probably kill Phil for his job. They're either ignoring me or they just are completely fucking oblivious of me. There's no shortage of people who want to talk about music, go to a pub for chrissakes! I'll bet Peter Shapiro's tripped round the blogs, he's such a net-head, and maybe he's been over here. Hi Pete! (empty echoing room) Don't mind me prating on like this! Anyway the last thing The Wire need is another mouthy personality-obsessed tea-boy. I'm probably better on the fringes, an amateur journo forever (cries into expensive freshly squeezed carrot and apple presse) Anyone recall one Sylvestre Balastrade who they let loose on reviews for a while? Ahem. The general point being the particular axe I grind with The Wire is this: They used to survey the whole landscape from atop a mountain, and currently they manage a little macrobiotic organic farm on the estuary. I'd like a bit more theory like Ian Penman espouses chez lui. I don't think that should preclude learning about a wider more interesting field of music. Indeed theory, if used well, can help socially-incapacitated over-educated bourgeous losers like us all to grasp the dynamics which affect society. Kind of like electro-shock therapy. Or Wilhelm Reich manipualting bodies.

To return to John's package. What great people out here! Followed a link yesterday and found Dave Mandl's Psygeocon Forum which if you've read my Cary Grant comic (Luke was alluding to it, and i guess it's on-topic, being largely about music) you'll know I'd find interesting. There's alot of new blogs sprouting up, and as a self-confessed amateur who enjoys the opportunity to talk openly with the pros, I'd like to say that I'd be sad if some of these other big$hots don't feel the need to DISCUSS. Hey not with ME! On the other hand maybe that's just my tip (I've been critcised for it before) and maybe blogs are more suited to monomaniacal rants. Maybe if you want to get messy and greet the natives you should go to a chat-room. Is it a diary? Is it a bar?

Hey John I can see why you borrowed that Half Pint "Political Friction" from your mate Danny!

Feedback Loop.

My mate Jon's been telling me he doesn't hear what I do in UK Garage Rap. Hey, Jon's entitled to his opinion! Some folks, however, are not. Truth is things are extremely quiet in the record stores, which is causing snearing foreigners to say "Where's your revolution?" On the other hand it's buzzing on the airwaves. I'm going to tackle this subject in two parts.

A few hundred posts ago I made a comment bemoaning UK Rap's lack of "slabs of art", that's to say recorded pieces. Since I made the equation between ART and VINYL I've been beating myself with a rubber hosepipe. Daily. True ART is often too spontaneous, site-specific and amorphous to fit within the grooves of a record. This is why I tend to prefer studio recordings that conciously exploit the recording process (If it aint alive, it might as well be perfectly stuffed). My most treasured musical experiences have always happened beyond the stifled relationship between me and the record deck. From evening choirs simultaneously accordant across Dakar at night, to sweaty nutters on whistles and busking Ghanaian Mbira players in the tube. The Pirate Crews shows and their mess of magic and chaos exist at the same life axis.

There ARE a lack of MC Records. The only two really hot ones right now being Donaeo's Bounce and The Surgery's Shott the Weed, both on Social Circles, rapidly shaping up to be the new Suburban Base. There are great new riddims from Big$hot, Menta, Slimzee, Dizzy, Wizzbit, DJ Marsta and Wiley but little new MC stuff. Luke thinks this is because everything is going to go wild in the summer, maybe.... My friends at the shops say it's because no crew will play another crews MC record on their show. The stores, which mainly supply the DJs on the pirates, can't sell MC records. It explains why Dizzy's using his rep to put out instrumentals. The only MC records which are getting played are HUGE tunes by famous collectives like Roll Deep who everyone respects. It's WAR.

In truth, despite paragraph two, this is pretty fucking spastic. Because everyone is being so small minded the scene is stuck on the pirates. My mates tell me this is a new-ish development (six months old) and yes look at the incredible amount of MC stuff that came out last year. What this should give all you folks (who can't pick it up on your FM dial) is an idea of the hugely explosive nature of the movement and also it's true immaturity. It's not gone away (it never will, its going to be MASSIVE) it's just in pressure-cooker mode. What happens next is anyone's guess...

O Bigmac.

Laurie Anderson has been working in McDonalds for the past six months. How cool is that?

Grinding Axes.

A couple of people have asked me why I've slightly slagged off Herbert's LP. I'll be brief:

1) I haven't heard it.

2) The recording of the band in all these sort of projects is bad. Think dcBasehead, Copkiller, The KLF Milennium remix or Herbert's last LP. The drums sound so weak. Dance folk have been spoilt rotten with beautifully recorded breaks and can't record their own stuff for toffee. The craft just aint there.

3) With my (crap) Big Band Cut-Up Idea I was imagining people were going to sample all the old stuff. Mixology. Virtuality. Sonic Collage. All that kit. Actually recording a band seems dull. Sorry. When the Junglists went on about getting their hands on Symphony Orchestras we all fell out of our trees laughing. Dance music is interesting because it's a cheap fake.

4) When I DJed a Private Party attended by the Herbert last year, I embarassed myself by clearing the floor playing old Ardkore. I blame him (not). Holding court at the back of the room like a low-rent Eno (they even look alike, no?) Dani was nice though. Kept hustling me for R&B, luckily I could oblige......
5) I love Herbert's stuff. Just not so keen on the REAL things.

Phew!

It's bloody lucky I didn't go that night. Not only would I have narrowly missed being shot (ahem), I also would have had to sit through a whole evenings R&B. Luka says that Nu Skool changed venues at the last minute. I would have been down the front with my Time Out guide to UK Garage, Binoculars and Notepad all night tutting. Lisa Mafia is the UK's Jennifer Lopez innit.

Infectious Enthusiast.

As a general rule of thumb my only criterion for pursuing a particular avenue of music is that I discover people enthusing over it. It's not that I'm incapable of drawing lines between disparate musics (well I have a good crack) but that tends to come afterwards. Enthusisasm is infectious. If you ask 10 people what their favourite record was, and you went out and hunted out those records, respective of genre you'd come back from safari with 10 great interesting records.

Which brings me to my colleague Jay at Agony Shorthand. Jay seems to occupy a parrallel universe to me. I dig many of his reference points: Wire, Crime, Minutemen, Pussy Galore, The Birthday Party, Numbers and the Blues. Jay has a very defined aesthetic, kind of Post-Rock without studio frippery. I can tell he's someone who is open-minded. Actually I bet he thinks the same of me, that I'm on some particular tip. I'd like to swallow Jay whole, that's to say engulf his influences in my own (guiltily: Isn't that what everyone does?), or write him off as anachronistic (I've too much respect for his passions to do so).

If we're going to break this down culturally I'd say that Jay is someone of the Joe Carducci school. I'll bet Jay has absolutely no truck with "Dance" music or its spawn. He'd probably disagree. I imagine he thinks I'm of the Simon Reynold's Academy. I'd have to completely disagree with that. Preposterous suggestion!

Corrections.

John Eden has pointed out that Paul St.Claire is..............wait for it.................Tikiman. Which, looking at it in a positive light, shows just how "on-the-money" I am (ahem).

More seriously I chanced across a very YARD 1985 Daddy Freddy LP today called "The Party is Fine" production by Gussie P and Junior Delgado on Incredible Records. The Fredster, to whom I clearly owe an apology, has written beside his name "Guinness Book of Records Talker". I should like to see Norris McWhirter's entry.

Finally I neglected to mention one of my other fave chapters in the crusty-dub history. A neglected LP by a very white sounding bunch called DigiDub titled "South of the River Thames". It had a ropey looking silkscreened cover and must have been an edition of 1000. I sold it ages ago. At points the record had the same YMO chinois-dubby feel that Prince Jammy gets on Computerised Dub.

Spring-cleaning.

Bit of spring-cleaning here:

1) 154 Downloads of the Gangsta Techno Mix (Yay!) I hope people liked it. Seemed to go down well. Will do something dissimilar soon-ish

2) In case you missed it, have a good laugh at me squirming here.

3) As a general note, folks should know that I NEVER heard of the *almighty* Animal Collective before I read it on Blissblog.

4) Thanks to Jon at Astronauts' Notepad for being so good-humoured. Mate, I've suffered for years with all my mates slagging off Jungle. This criticism thing is a bitch sometimes.....

5) Thanks to Luka for being a rock. And not minding me biting his style ;-)

6) Big piece on Jennifer Lopez in the works........so stay tuned.

Peace and Love.

J Low.

Had a small scuffle with Stuart of Glasgow's Vinyl Freaks this weekend. He suggested I check his under-the-counter Hip-Hop pile, bought in by someone needing a few stiff drinks to go with the Easter sunshine (surely a smarter man than me!). Nothing there, all Sub-Platinum dross. Stuart suggested half-jokingly I check the new Jennifer Lopez record....WHAAAT...I quickly regained my cool and told him I already had a copy.*

My lovely wife has had to put up with me swearing and cursing at Lopez everytime she comes on the TV. I really REALLY can't stand her. She's the most unbearably mediocre actress (practically unwatchable) added to which she is a pathetically uncommitted popstar. Two halves here make an eighth. None of her records possess a tune, and at the level at which stars like her and Madonna (for instance) operate you just BUY tunes. You don't have to write them. You have the cream of a generations failed indie pop stars foisting their often exquisitely pretty efforts on you. People like Guy Chambers Robbie Williams's ex-World Party sidekick (woops Robbie fired him...no new good tunes anymore) or Pink's Linda Perry from 4 Non Blondes. How difficult is it to pick a catchy song? You'd have to be completely stupid if you have that kind of money to invest in the operation, and there is no shortage of money behind Lopez, I'm suprised she's profitable with what must be the most gigantic PR bill ever. You can only imagine my glee when I heard MC Pitman refer to her as having a "face like a plate", suggesting he "eat his chips and beans off it".

After laying all this on Stuart, who I had to prod awake at the end, he opined that a mate of his had an uncontainable venomous spite towards Lopez. He throws things at the TV. Delivered in Stuart's Glaswegian brogue it sounded yet more intense and scary than my own "hate-offering".

A short lull as I wade through a pile of Library Records.

"But you know Stuart, I quite like that new single of hers with LL Cool J." And its true, I do. Looks like she finally took my advice and got herself a tune. I actually emailed Guy Chambers off his website mid-writing this.....I wonder if I can persuade him to write her a nouveau-McCartney Gangsta's Moll Hip-Hop Ballad. "All I Have" captures in it's repetitive infolding melody the endlessly looping bittersweet fear one has when one needs to leave someone. LL does a sensible job. As sensible as his wearing a mobile phone earpiece in the video, WAY TO GO BAD BWOY! LL's been a marked man since I Need Love, and is truly Hip-Hop's greatest survivor. He's Hip Hop's Rod Stewart as I explained to the tartan Stuart. Don't worry Stu! Rod will return home one day.

*That was a joke all you Merzbow fans.

Links 4U.

After an exhaustive trawl of the blogs presenting the following for your delectation:
Silence is a Rhythm too
Uncarved Blogginess
Virulent Memes
PasteMob
Erg's Jazz and other blog
Eyes That Can See in the Dark
Hipster Detritus
Nonstop Pop

and possibly most exitingly Ian Penman's:
THE PILL BOX

Come back later this week as I've got a real KILLA for yous.

Mr Conny Plank.

More CONRAD Plank stuff courtesy of Job. Marlene Dietrich and The Scorpions! Well I never!

Mrs Conny Plank.

I thought you dudes were kipping, and then suddenly everyone wants to "sprechen-sie deutsche" with me. You're awfully fickle.

Job says Connie Plank (who he thinks is a woman, I beg to differ old chap-but could someone clear this up?) also did the first Eurythmics album. Of course he did Job old chap. He did loads of production work, was it Ultravox who used him (?) as well as my rather recherche example of Whodini, creators of lightning sword of death "Magic's Wand". So boo to you too Job!

I've heard rumour of a solo Conny Plank LP, which is a slightly avant-ish cymbal/echo fest. Sounds pretty bloody exciting and am right now kicking myself for not taking an option on it when I once had the chance.

Requests for a Les Vampyrettes mp3 have been duly noted. Maybe my ripping it would spur some of the less digitally-inclined of you to get biblical with QuickTime. However, I'm not sure an mp3 would do justice to it's prodigious lower end. Please no one ask me for a CD of this stuff, I'd hate to disappoint.

Kraut Links.

Interview with Klaus Dinger
DAF corrections
Simon sticks up for La Dusseldorf
From our friends at Perfect Sound Forever
That ropey La D LP
Michael Rother Interview
Cope's Top 50

Meeting Luka.

Hooked up with the big man yesterday, and frankly full marks to both of us. We got blethered and were a right couple of chatty bastards. I had an extremely interesting evening in the dude's charming company. I reckon it takes guts to ditch the virtual shite once in a while, yunnuh square off "nutter-to-nutter". Take note all dem ILM cowards!

Cockney Reggae.

My friend Steve Caruana was round last night. Steve is THE reggae fiend. He's off to Togo for 6 months building Databases for them, and wanted to check in on his reggae cds which I look after for him. Steve once owned upwards of 5000 JA 7"s, the real currency of Reggae as any fule kno but he's not a materialistic dude (like me) and sold them after meticulously recording them to CD. I'm actually a third of the way through copying the hundreds of these stone tablets, a typically lunatic undertaking made more insane by the fact that I'm submitting details about each disc to the CDDB org.

I'd been wanting to pick Steve's brains on the Cockney Ragga thing beyond Smiley Culture's Cockney Translation (in relation to the etymology of Gutter Garage) and I gleaned the following gems. Apparently there are some Mad Professor DJ tracks which are cockney tinged, Steve also remembered the I.Roy track Camp Road Skank (I mentioned this myself a while ago). He thought I ought to have a look at some of Prince Buster's early stuff and also pointed out that The Beat's in-house MC Ranking Roger also pressed some of his own 12"s which might be worth inspecting. Best of all we dug out from the cases of stuff round mine Alton Ellis's "Small Talk", which has a really funny cockney bridge, Alton going "I lav a cap o tea" in a funny Patois London mash-up. Alton I know lives in Brixton these days.

Wots Entertainment?

Interesting to here Simon weigh in against entertainment. I harbour a nagging suspicion that, when the chips are down, even the most austere and demanding music is there to entertain. This has always been backed up in my mind by a view that the societies around the world which find life the most difficult tend to make music as entertainment.

I've always had the suspicion that perpretators of serious music, those making money from it, are just better con-men than the entertainers- those people who let you know "upfront" that you're being entertained. I always remember hearing Mad Mike of Underground Resistance say he chose his particular path because he could envision his career in music lasting longer. I often think the greatest level of pathos I find in music is in superficial, entertaining music which cracks ever so slightly on the surface enabling you to see what's really happening, what the real feelings are. For instance what was 'ardkore but the silliest form of entertainment imaginable?

The Ugly Truth.

Seems like everyone wants to be Luke's friend, well there's something all you people ought to know.

Last Wednesday I was giving a talk with slides for the Mystic FM fundraiser at Stringfellows. They couldn't afford Reynolds and Phil Sherburne was giving a white paper on UK Garage and Decentralisation in Mexico City the next day.

The so-called "Thin White Luke" showed up, probably high on crack, with Scoob and his mates in tow giving it all that. He proceeded to punch one of the strippers, knocking out both her front teeth. Now you can dress that up however you like, but as far as I'm concerned there is NEVER any excuse for that kind of behaviour.

Zimbabwean Score.

I picked this up for 6 quid the other day, I liked the cover and took a risk. Well done me. It's been produced at Harare's Shed Studios. That's a great progeny, Shed Studios must have produced loads of brilliant records not least of which being Mapfumo's Gwindingwi Rine Shumba the chimurenga classic. Both records have the same tell-tale look photo printed onto rough unbleached paper which gives them a sepia tint almost accidentally. I reckon it dates to 1983.

The record is totally amazing, Ephat on the left plays Mbira, Tabetha is on Hosho (shakers) and Thomas Gora on the right is on the mic. It's pitched somewhere between the traditional and the urban which the more you know about African music, the more you realise are completely artificial constructions. Just check out Tabetha's Hosho come in, that's electrifying, and Thomas sounds like he's singing in reverse! WOW!

The Shadow.

Been deep in conference with my long-standing non-virtual colleague the esteemed and notorious Bismillah Raxmani Rahim, "The Shadow", friend to the dispossed and proprietor of Blogistan your first stop for eastern-westercism. Bismillah, or Ed as he sometimes calls himself to ease the flow of conversation, is just off to bury himself in the desert. N'shallah Bismillah! Let us hope Dubya is not using his roaming ASCII parser on TWANBOC my good friend, or we shall be back to the old days of photocopied leaflets at Tottenham Court Road tube!

Ed was sucking on his hookah singing the praises of Bookshelf, Truth Hurts, Bollywood and Diwali, those likkle riddims with their off-kilter hindutastic beats. I even managed to stretch to a whole (Greensleeves) LP of Diwali the other day, and whole riddim LPs memsab, they're not my cup of chai. Surveying the turkish cafe we were in for seeds from the Bush, Bismillah (for so he was born), whispered the words "Harry Toddler on Clappas" in my ears then winked like the oily digger he is. I quickly paid for our Peppermint Tea and Hash Cakes and before you could say "zag ga zaga za" was propping up the counter downstairs at Daddy Kool in Berwick Street. Eventually picking up the 7" offender in, wait for it, the original beatnik emporium, Soul Jazz- only just managing not to lose my edge in the process. Cool tune Bismillah! Be gentle with those Camels you feelthy rogue!

Organized Konfusion.

......but seriously that Organized Konfusion LP: S.T.R.E.S.S. is brilliant sonically/musically too. Their second one is a bit ropey though. I got that because Kodwo Eshun recommended "Music like escaping Gas" in More Brilliant than the Sun. Where the hell did Kodwo disappear to?

Animate Dizzy!

Shakey Luke just challenged me to "an animated version of (Dizzy Rascal), small and surly and made from plasticine for his i luv u video, like morph if he came from bow and wore tracksuits... " He's a funny bastad that Luke. Dizzy's "edge of tears" delivery would sound totally hilarious issuing from a 3 inch high playdough replica.

But as any fule kno you do a cartoon of a star and it wrecks their career. Animation works by taking the essence and writing it large, while pop works through the tension between the real and the caricature. Pop stars must be both preposterously improbably cool AND normal people.

I would love to see a morph style animation of Goldie for the identical reason that it would instantly puncture all the (ok now sagging) myth he's built up around himself.

Tricky Rascal.

On the subject of Dizzy Rascal. My brother saw the new regenerated Tricky signing autographs in Waitrose. Why? Has he just released a new radish?

Tricky has a new diet doesn't he. That's cool. Tricky is very small too apparantly. Just like Captain Roscoe with the crossbow. Just think how sad DR would think I was if he read this. Its turning into Hello! for speedfreaks this blog.

Easy E.

Oh and Easy E was the nephew of Charles "Express yourself" Wright, that must have made sorting out the sampling fees easy. With the Watts 103 Street Rhythm Band he made a great LP (also called Express Yourself) and a double gatefold LP which came up in converstion with my friend Christian the other day. Charles Wright we decided was a funk auteur. Embraced a whole clutch of styles well.

Oh and Spike Lee was Bill Lee's son. Bill played on a handful of Strata East records with jazz heavyweights like (guessing) CecilMcBee and Clifford Jordan, as well as laying down a Mingus/Cassavetes bassline down for She's gotta have it.

Oh and Chuck D was Stokely Carmichael's chauffeur's son in law. Except he wasn't cos I made that up.

Nas.

Nas's Dad is Olu Dara. Olu Dara is a percussionist who played on alot of Bill Lasell's Celluloid recordings. I could check but I think he plays on those 5 okey-doke early Rap 12"s that Laswell put out (you know, the one by Fab 5 Freddy, who wasnt a rapper but a graffiti artist).

Nas is quite like the second George Bush. And hip-hop is a dynasty. I'd have to look in the AvantYob Manual but I suppose this makes him a Beatnik as well. Nas's early records were all "Great Mid-Period Hip-Hop" like "NY State of Mind". He's survived, like Busta Rhymes, as a platinum wrapper. See him duet with Jennifer, givng props to her street shtick. I don't really like him, neither does Jay-Z so I'm not exactly in good company. Luke, Hackney's rusty radio, the fopp on crack, thinks he's a great poet.

Beatnik vs AvantYob: The Third Episode, "Missive from the Darkside"

My false teeth fell into my tea when I got an email from none other than Nick Terry, get this, former editor of Terrorizer magazine, practically ground central for Thrash Metal, in Nick's words "a true AvantYob publication". For centuries Nick has been surveying the narrow mountain pass, which links his black empire of Metal to the sunny pastures in which you and I frolic (end of Tolkein-esque metaphor). What did he have to say: "I heartily approve of your beatnik vs avantyob classification system." In consequence I'm writing this from a small island in the caribbean to which I have retired, having finally made the mark in life I knew I could.........

The first point Nick makes is that Slayer are not "nu metal", he's right, what was I thinking? Thrash Metal, doh! Nick informs me (lonely stray hobbit that I am....OK OK enough) that for New Metal I should: "think Korn, Papa Roach, Deftones, especially Deftones, who worship The Smiths ferchrissakes.....pretty much beatnik metal anyway and diametrically opposed to everything Slayer stand for." But was delighted that I got Slayer in the right column anyway. So I done good. Nick mused that he saw quite alot of beatnik qualities in Metal in general, though I guess he'd agree it's generally AvantYobbish, particularly pinpointing "....the obsessive cataloguing and classification" to which I replied:

"Right, gotcha. I think that maybe metal's strengths lie in the fact that it (maybe) generally isn't beatnik. A Smiths fetish immediately earmarks the (Deftones) as beatnik. To be even harsher on myself than you've been, Slayer's dalliance with Rick Rubin and the Sex Pistols cover version might even swing them in the Beatnik direction a tiny bit, it's quite a "concious" musicological angle of theirs. I just don't know the territory hence their totemic inclusion. I'm not sure if the obsessive cataloguing marks them as Beatniks, you see the same thing with Gabba obsessives, these guys usually have no idea about "what's the oth