WOEBOT

Back Soon.

My "will-to-blog" has evidently taken a bit of blow, it's as much to do with the fact that with the ethnographic records thing I realised I'd become a bit hollowed-out. I'm going to take three weeks off, I've booked our first proper family holiday for two years, and I imagine I'll come back bursting at the seams. In fact I've been working on one particular thing for months, which if I can pull it off, may surprise. This isn't the end.

Blog for Sale.

Gwen dropped me a line to say he's doing a gig with Richard at Le Palais De Tokyo in Paris this Saturday. Apparently they're going all "concrete", he's promised me a recording of the show. I'd give a fingernail to attend, all Paris crew get down there ya hear me!

Gwen also shoved some JPEGS over of things he's listening to at the moment:

Filling me with the usual mixture of envy and admiration. It's as well he popped some stuff over to fill the gaping void at Woebot. Four days, is that a record? I've been considering selling the blog. Well you can sell a business can't you! You know, thriving publication, lots of punters, great design, well-defined demographic, room for expansion into advertising, own webspace, pre-installed Moveable Type application. Then someone else could do it! Great!

They'd just have to work hard (for free!) to share all their cherished insider knowledge with a bunch of ignominious twats. Put up with the fist-pounding of self-obsessed pompous little pricks still tied to their mother's apron strings, the nit-picking of ineffectual sociopaths, the inconsiderate hollow and coarse baying of snobs and gluttons, all the time trying (rather pathetically) to hold onto the idea that treating other people with respect is the only way to make the world a better place.

I keep finding myself at this point with alarming regularity.

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Woebot on the Kosmische Show.

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology I'm able to offer up the last Woebot/Kosmische/Resonance FM show to the denizens on the intranet who missed it first time round. Again a RealAudio stream, to my mind a fantastic alternative to the mp3 download:

1) You can scrub along the timeline from track to track.
2) At an hour and three quarters long an mp3 would be ginormous!
3) Relax in the knowledge that you're not contributing to the rot of mp3 filesharing...

Proving Woebot isn't you're average gig, you'll be tickled to know that I approached the record companies of the two commercially unreleased tracks I played. I wasn't about to offer them up here without permission you see, cos I'm not a twat, simple innit. I was fully expecting a rebuttal from both parties concerned so imagine my sheer delight when Big Dada gave me clearance to host the Infinite Lifez tune!!! I was stunned not least cos it's certainly going to be one of the biggest, most insane, notorious tracks of the year. In fact I'd go as far as saying..........it's sick! Special thanks to Etienne at Big Dada for this. Really you HAVE to hear it!

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0.00.00 Kosmische Show Intro
0.00.51 Infinte Lifez: Adventures of the Lactating Man (Bush Meat CD)
0.05.14 David Banner: Cadillacs on 22s (Mississippi The Album CD)
0.10.47 Meat Puppets: Seal Whales (Up on the Sun LP)
0.13.05 Francois Rabbath: Les Gorgones (Basse en Fugue LP)
0.17.20 Michael Rother: Silberstreif (Fernwarme LP)
0.22.00 Ryuichi Sakamoto: Das Neue Japanische Elektronishe Volkslied* (Thousand Knives of Ryuichi Sakamoto LP)
0.25.39 Terrah Danjah: Juggling* (After Shock EP)
0.27.32 Casino-vs-Japan: Summer Clip (Whole Numbers Play The Basics CD)
0.35.32 Francois de Roubaix: La Fete de deux Avions (Les Plus Belles Musiques de Francois Roubaix Vol.3 LP)
0.41.03 The Tornadoes: Do Your Thing Part Two (Pantomime 7")
0.45.04 Punjabi MC: Challa (Punjabi MC The Album LP)
0.51.40 RZA: Ghost Dog Interlude (Ghost Dog Soundtrack Jap Import CD)
0.53.09 Lizard: Sa Ka Na (Tokyo Mobile Music LP)
0.58.22 Roberto De Simone: Canto di Camorra (Library 7")
1.03.29 Nini Raviolette: Suis-je Normale? (Eponymous EP)
1.08.49 Outputmessage: Bernard's Song (Idol Tryouts LP)
1.14.11 Mathew Johnson: Typerope (Eponymous 12")
1.18.41 Revolution: Cina (Unreleased Import Reissue CD)
1.22.55 Ethiopian 7" Damaged Label
1.27.32 Dr. Zeus: Ah Ni Kuria (Unda Da Influence CD)
1.31.39 Lil' Flip: Da Roof (Eponymous 12")
1.34.28 The Black Dog: Shadehead (Peel Sessions EP)
1.40.45 Francois de Roubiaux: Pat-Benj (Les Plus Belles Musiques de Francois Roubaix Vol.3 LP)
1.43.55 Kosmische Show Outro

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*replace excised track.

Thanks to Sacha for coming down and chipping in with some tunes, thanks to Dwayne our engineer (and man behind the Eggzup label) and natch to all the heads at Kosmische. Big it up. Enjoy.

MCs do Bloggers.

Massive respect to MC D of the Aylesbury Allstars (aka David Hendley) who took the time to put this together. I approached Dave last year about their "Buss Red Light" track, and I thought seeing as how he and the crew act as moderators on the FWD forums, that he'd be an easy person to enlist. I'll admit I filled him in on the background pretty thoroughly. See if you can work out who this is:

keyboard tapper
keiron's papa
don dada
at the top of the ladder

made nuff cash
with energy flash
rock book will make a splash

Excellent! I couldn't have done better myself!

Big Tings a Gwan.

Naked Maja
Absolutely T for tremendous break-out of the fascinating Ogun label by Marcello. What a strange netherworld this was where Prog Rock fugitives and hard core improvisors broke bread with an empassioned bunch of South African exiles! Only in London could this happen and perhaps only in the seventies. Right away I'm chasing down records from this superb list, which with it's calm authoritative commentary, rightfully should have appeared in print.

World of Stelfox
Another amazing feature, this time from returning hero Dave Stelfox. Ring the bells in their steeples, strew the streets with garlands, lock up your daughters! Dave uses the device of a CD's track-listing to beckon us to his fireside and regale us with tales from the yard. This and Marcello's piece are exactly the kind of thing that makes the blogosphere essential.

Peking-O
Sad and confused about Cathy's departure, as quixotic and abrupt as ever. I hang my head with shame when I reflect that I've failed to give her proper dues for her sublime delicately crystalline offerings. Here's hoping we see her again soon. In the meantime give tanks for the wonder that is/was Peking-O.

10 African Ethnographic Records.

My usual rejoinder: "I don't know much about this music" is really (really) true this time. I've been collecting choice ethnographic records for ten years and I really couldn't tell you much more than the next man about them. I have to confess too, that often as not I'll pick these artifacts up because their sleeves are beautiful and other-wordly. In a similar spirit I wanted to offer these spectacularly beautiful images up for your perusal, and found myself a little stuck for spiel. Rather than beating my chest and dribbling on interminably about music you aint gonna get to hear I thought I'd keep it short and sweet.

When it comes to Ethnographic Recordings the French have it, and this may (for better or worse) have something to do with their approach to their colonies. The British governed their colonies in a remote calculating fashion, examples might be Cromer's 75 year long "protectorate" of Egypt, in which the British skimmed the cream from the Nile economy, suppressed the Egyptians with the consent of their own ruling classes and showed little interest in the culture. Cromer displayed no inclination in educating the common Egyptians, imparting to them the benefits for instance, of Britain's technological advancement. Cromer believed that any education at all would just generate a class of radical discontents. They (we) did pretty much the same thing with the Raj in India.

The French on the other hand liked to get stuck right in there. You only have to look at Napolean's commission "Description De L'Egypte" with it's fanatical detailing of Egypt's ancient legacy, ream after ream of (actually quite remarkable) etchings and lithographs of the land of the Pharoahs, for proof of their voraciousness. I think I'm right in describing the project and resulting tomes as representing the most typical act of "Orientalism" for Edward Said. Unsure because it was so long since I read that book, which if you haven't come across it, details how one culture subjects another to a psychological tyranny by the act of subjectifying it through study and scholarship. The French took a similar tack in Algeria too, where they undertook to teach French culture, language and values. It's ironic to compare the French's vision of what they were doing (surely some deeply misguided generosity, after all they could have done what the British practised and not bothered!), with that of someone like Frantz Fanon's view of it whereby speaking French means that one accepts, or is coerced into accepting, the collective consciousness of the French.

France was home to the greatest Ethnomusicological labels in the world. I say was because the time window during which the practice of inscribing these sounds was relatively narrow. I have a cut-off date of 1975, after which I treat these documents with a degree of scepticism. The world has shrunk now to the point whereby the cultures which stood in such infinitely stark contrast to the mores of Western Capitalism are now effectively engulfed by it. The original music of the Central African Rain Forests, Tibet, Papua New Guinea and the Amazon has either vanished or been mothballed for tourists. Actually I'm not such an enemy of Globalisation, it's still possible for peoples to forge specific sounds, just that if you go looking for "purity" or "the other" these days you're wasting your time. Thankfully (I guess?) down to the work of the French (and others...) we have plenty of documents from that vanished world. Labels like Musée de l'Homme, Harmonia Mundi, Musiques du monde, BAM, Chant du Monde and (the finest) Ocora all published quite superb recordings made in the field.

Naturally Ocora deserves special mention. You can almost pick up any of their recordings and come away laughing. Probably the greatest Ocora recordings are the holy triumvirate of Musique Gbaya, Musique Aka Pygmees and Musique Burundi. The Aka pygmy set is the one which famously prized open Jon Hassell's skull, though for my money the greatest is the Gbaya set. If you're a fan of Minimalist music or Krautrock or Acid House you have to hear this. I'd be proudly boshing the sleeve up here if I owned the original Ocora edition however I have some early 80s cut of it with inferior artwork. That record, which is freely available on CD too is superior to all of these below.

See what I mean about the covers! What a stunner! Split 50/50 between recordings made in Guinea and those made in the Cote D'Ivoire. You often find the earlier recordings are more generalist and cover a broader terrain.

I've a suspicion this is (slightly) one for the tourists. From the collection of legendary tropical DJ Dave Hucker.

There are a whole series of these records on the UNESCO label. I've seen one for Greece! One can ponder the relationship between the United Nations as an organisation and the ethnomusicological drive (as per Said).

Stunning modernist design.

Hugh Tracey recorded some lovely stuff in the fifties and sixties. His Music of Africa series of which I have a number collate stuff not geographically but by their execution. This one is quite superb, and it's interesting to note that Tracey (an amateur British expat who later tarnished his reputation) was a conoisseur of the Mbira. He even devised his own version of it called the Kalimba which (oh dear!) has a traditional western tuning.....

Another beautiful looking Tracey recording.

It's sort of shambolic of me not be able to talk about these recordings in the way one might the latest Garage "joint." I guess the point is with Music like that of the Pygmies, there aren't the same kind of trans cultural conduits plugging them into other musics. They defy this kind of analysis because they're the product of isolated unique societies. One's not really equipped to comment on them because they're so alien and self-contained. Having said that in Colin Turnbull's liner notes (the same Englishman recorded the Rainforest Pygmies singing 'Clementine' which I discussed here) he says the Ituri dwell on the edge of the forest and thus are more open to influence.

One can't avoid discussing sexuality with a cover like this. Sometimes this can be quite brazen in this territory (shearing off into the Lyman/Denny/Baxter territory where it runs rampant). I have a recording of South Sea Creole Pidgin songs which features a semi-clad maiden (Gaugin style) reclining in a stream which I picked up in San Francisco. That IS quite a fruity one, though in general, speaking personally, I don't understand how people could get their kicks off this kind of thing. I've never found the National Geographic that stimulating, though one hear's voices assuring one of the impact these images of bare-breasted, ferocious looking tribeswomen had on the Victorian male psyche.

Pretentious Garage Review.

Gosh it's been a terribly stimulating week for the online amateur garage enthusiast! We've seen the petty sniping of Guardian journalists desperate to shift units by hijacking the Blog nexus (Bo! Bo! Bo!) and the FWD boys bum-rushing K-Punk's Comments box at his invitation. Elsewhere with Heronbone pulling the plug on his Grime coverage, it seems like the only people left writing about Garage at it's only genuinely interesting axis in this "smooth place" are anything but hip. Let us examine the texts in hand:

Wiley: Treadin' On Thin Ice

I was really dreading the Wiley LP, firstly cos I thought I'd be depressed by it's over-enthusiastic reception in the mainstream, also cos I was sure it was going to be lacklustre. That's one of the problems with both promotional material and mp3s being leaked. I got sent a link to download the whole LP on March 29th which I actually ignored. This guy was reviewing it on March 5th. By the time something's in the shops, and it hit the high street before the underground stores, consensus is fractured and the people who are supposed to be enthusing over the release are weary as hell about it. Everyone is like "Yawn!"

As for it being lacklustre, I've made no bones about finding Wiley quite grating and pompous in the past. His self-engineered transformative redemption is an intense deal, admirable indeed, but imagine being stuck in a lift with him! OK Wiley, yeah you're great! Enough already! Was I alone in thinking "Ground Zero", which twinned his feelings at breaking up with his girlfriend with Al-Quaida's attack on the Trade Centre was insufferably self-obsessed? Offensive even? Then the "Wot Do You Call It?" single which Marcello justly skewered was twattish.

Volte face! The LP is really sweet. I thought he was going to be over-bearing, even more so at the major label level (Thinks: "Now I made it I'm gonna show the Haters!") Wiley comes over, not as a towering colossus, but all gremlin. There's so much humour here. The lines in "Special Girl" which (as Simon Silver Dollar has already noted) degenerate hilariously. Wiley pledges to find a girl who will understand him, stand by him, who will answer him back and er, give him sex on tap whenever he feels like it. (winks) Are you sure you're ready for a serious relationship mate! The super gormless intro to "Pies": "Hey blud there were five pies on this table.....and when I come back all the pies have gone?" set against a Hans Christan Andersen Fox-in-the-forest style riddim is a bit of a chortle. "Goin' Mad", sports another comedy intro "Oi Mate do you fink I'm a waffler mate? Well yeah you do go on a bit mate!", likkle squeaky crank bugs in the riddim. There is something subtly menacing about this goofing around, as if were you in the room, you couldn't guarantee it wasn't a joke at your expense.

He's evolved as a producer too; Ground Zero (which, when he versions it here as "Doorway" makes the track) is the sonic pointer. "Treading on thin Ice" is as exquisite, so eeiry and understated. The clunky chinois thud that characterised alot of his riddims after "Eskimo" like "Ice Rink", "Rat Race" and "Blue Rizzla" is slightly on the back burner, probably as a result of plods like Skepta offering up carbon copies. It was also cool to find, for a slavish dub-plate junkie, that cuts like "Pick U R Self Up" featured entirely different mixes to the one on the twelve inch which came out on the Target label last year. But, as someone else (somewhere) has already commented, it's a shame "Bastard" didn't make an appearance. That's a funny track too. I wasn't just pleasantly surprised, I was well chuffed about the strength of the LP. Thumbs up!

Funny to relate that Wiley's been poking round a mate of ours' recording studio, getting quite excited. Frank has real drums. Could spell trouble in the frozen wastes ;-)

Demon feat Kano: "Gansta Toyz"

A take on the Frontline Rmx riddim. Demon of East Co and Kano of Nasty say "Gangsta" alot. Another choon on the excellent Aftershock label. Went out for a beer with supercool Marcus from Rephlex this week (I think he was surprised how "normal" I was! Just remember people, all those musicians are chained to their PCs too! Wiley on the Lord of The Decks DVD showing off his Quicksilver Macintosh with Chrome CD Bay!) As I was saying on Mark's thread, I've nothing against the Rephlex "Grime" comp, it's beautifully put together, just that it could have done with some MC-ing (slightly more realistic liner notes might have helped too...)

It's as simple as this these days, I go down the shop and say: "Have you got any new MC stuff?" Imagine buying Ragga Riddims?!? You'd have to be insane! All these dubplates in Garage, they're being released on white labels with the explicit purpose of being bought by DJs to play for their MCs on air. Garage riddims on their own just aren't the thing any more! Even Ruff Squad's riddim's are for MCs! I say this over and over again and no-one plays the blind bit of notice.

It's not as if the FWD scene can't make great riddims (again repeating myself) just check "Popadomz" or "War Wid" or (earlier Menta's "Ramp"), just that their tracks need a good MC. The well informed geezer like Artifact says that Plasticman is using D Double, Wiley and Riko on his solo album (clapping purposefully) well done mate (taps own head) yeah YOU WORKED IT OUT! Virus Syndicate, who are a Mancunian Grime crew attached to Mark One/Slaughter Mob/Plasticman are also apparently well good. In fact someone was saying somewhere on that Old Skoolish comments thread of mine that they're 'pushing the envelope.' Yeah, let's hear some of that!

I was telling Marcus they should just license the After Shock back catalogue and put it out. In his favour he says they're keen to release striktly new stuff. No A&R job yet! Apologies to Rephlex for not swallowing the party line....

Donaeo: "Don't Watch Me Now"

Class Fidget action. The best thing here isn't Donaeo's latest remake of "Bounce" but "Don't Watch Me Now" billed as a bonus track but inadvertantly the hit. "Don't Watch Me Now, Don't Watch Geezer, Just Stay Out of my Business" goes the chorus, it's a bit of low-key mucking around that's presumably not bo(o)mbastic enough for the spotlight. Donaeo ducking and diving, doin' the Arthur Daley shuffle. Absolutely charming, as Brian Sewell might say.

DJ Mexx and Durrty Doogz: Look and Turn
More Fire Crew: Torch Riddim

Both twelves look exactly the same, so this charming image featuring a stack of child's coloured bricks will have to suffice for both of them. Doogzy is on fire! He's a funny cat isn't he, I swear if he sounded any more camp he'd be doing Frankie Howerd impressions. Dude sounds like someone is pinching his arse and he's recoiling in shock: "It's real!" Damn funny. Genius innit! More Fire have been slewing dem all year and stand correct with this "Torch", highlight of which is the mnemonic Public Enemy spinning wheel micro-riff which functions as the chorus, the riddim here is pure dancehall bizniss. There's 3 other MCs on this but the label is giving nothing away. Promos are circulating for the More Fire LP, so watch that space.

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So far this year is looking better than last. Remember that Grime Scene comp I put together last December? Well I reckon I could do one by the end of June this year...

Lulu's Animal Roundabout.