WOEBOT

New Years Resolutions.

1. No to Profesional Envy.

I've never read music journalism in the broadsheets. Like, er, why bother? Surely it's just third-hand insights, the party line by proxy? So why pick on the poor shmucks who practice it?

I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to earn a regular crust from writing (as those people do); but then again it might NOT be nice. It might ruin a decent lark in the pursuit of a few pennies. Besides, writing on music in the regular press would fail to enable me to do a number of things I'm wont to do. There's no talking about music unless it revolves around the #new# or recently reissued. The kind of music one's expected to cover is largely dull, dictated by what you'd expect to find stocked on the high street (though kudos Reynolds and to warriors like David Stelfox and his broadsheet ragga ting) There's no space for personal digression (surely that's what made someone like Lester Bangs's writing so compulsive, the thrilling autobiographical subjectivity of it). There's no room to just pin-up a record sleeve and invite folk to drool. Certainly there's no room for Flash, QuickTime Movies or downloadable mp3s. Doesn't leave much left that is enticing to my mind...

Also (try as I might) I haven't managed to acquire an inferiority complex about *BLOGGING*. As if somehow it's a disgrace to NOT be in print and an amateur to boot. This is a conviction that has grown, rather than lessened during the past year. Curiously enough, going hand-in-hand with it, a respect for journals like The Wire. I used to be openly jealous of it's regular contributors and rather down on it's direction. Now I think it's great that they're there, doing their own thing and surviving.

All that remains of Newspaper Music Journalism as a stand-alone ambition (I'm highlighting it in, ahem, my New Year's Speech, cos it's clearly SUCH a bugbear for many of my colleagues) is the will to be a self-appointed pompous turd (replete with toadlike personality shot) with a sideline in TV "Rent-a-quote." There's nothing particularly wrong with that, it's just a bit lifeless.* You see folks, THIS is where's it. THIS (throws back head dramatically, arms outstretched) is the frontline of style and insight.

*Though AOL/Warner I'd sure LOVE a slice of your pie ;-D Bearing in mind I'd need at least two lawyers, one for copyright, the other for slander.

2. Yes to New Words.

In 2004 I'd like to use new words like "malodorous" and "obloquy." I will be examining Heronbone and the Oxford English Dictionary for fresh text to plunder.

3. No to Bumfights.

No to locking-horns with other homeless drunks. Readers may have noticed a mellower approach in my dealing with the "charming" offhand insults of my peers recently. I aim to continue this less heavy-handed tactic in 2004, and with any luck I won't be picked on by any old dudes.

4. Yes to Repeating Myself.

In 2004 I'm aiming to repeat exactly what I said in 2003. Expect to hear the same anecdotes dressed up, the same pop trivia regurgitated and the same Reynolds-derived musical angle duplicated. I've come to the conclusion that (coughs) an artist can't be expected to "do other peoples styles," and so look forward to an identical image of last year's hamfisted guff.

You can't say fairer than that.

Brick Door Mix.

OK enough thrashing around in the dark! (ahem) Time to produce something I actually have a bit of knowledge about and affinity with. 90% of these tunes I picked up back in 1993 and 1994. Same method as usual, if I liked 'em I bought 'em. I've avoided well-known tracks like Marvellous Caine's "The Hitman", Dead Dred's "Dread Bass", Roni Size's "Warning", Goldie's "Jah" and his remixes of Shabba and Cutty which would have slipped in here a treat, but are just too familiar. The brief was "Ragga-Jungle" though many of these owe as much to Reggae and are frequently more "evolved" and riddimic than your average Jump-Up tracks.

If I say so myself it's an absolutely towering muthafu**a of a mix, straight-ahead *NO EDITS*, thoroughly enjoyed putting this together.

00:00 Foul Play: Murder Most Foul (Moving Shadow)
Intro a bit mashed up. I'm not even sure if this is the correct name of the track. It's off a blacked-out Moving Shadow Dubplate. That bass leaps out in your face, much more rubbery production than most Ragga Jungle. What's there to say? it's effing magic! (Mix a teensy bit wonky here, hang in there!)

02: 46 Underground Software: Total Niceness (Reinforced)
I reckon this tidy crew are underrated auteurs. The acid on this will drive the nuts round at Rephlex mad. (Hi Marcus!)

04:32 Exude: Common Sensi (Boogie Times)
Boogie Times the ruffer less self-conciously "classy" snotty sibling of Suburban Base. Named after the shop Boogie Times in Romford which was Sub Base's home. I like to think of these as records they thought could shift units.

07:09 CMC: Bad Girl (Ibiza)
Ibiza records! What a daft name! Hardly balearic is it!

10:34 Roni Size: Det-strumental (V)
Slipping into Jungle proper with this one. Off "The Size of things to come EP" This was once impossible to find. I think V have reissued it. Interesting the way that the "Jazz-Funk" piano is hypercellerated into some trilling helicule.

13:43 Tom & Jerry: Follow Da Massive (Shell)
Absolutely tearin' tune with a typically knicker-wetting sample from The Cutter. Those skidding cymbals! That cavernous Bass! Of course this is the Reinforced crew in Urban guise.

16:04 Pure: Anything Test (Suburban Base)
A lost classic to my mind. Swift and Zinc deliver monstrous amen.

19:19 Tek 9: The Tek 9 Reinterpretation of Code 071's 'A London Sumtin' 1991 Some Original Urban Jungle Music. (Reinforced)
That's what it says on the label of this Tek 9 doublepack. A feeling that they're trying to claw back some of the cred they were due when Jungle suddenly blew up on the Black/Urban scene in 1994. Though rather flying-in-the-wind of Jump-up's reduced artistic ambitions (let's face it!); sporting an insanely convolouted, infolding, galloping, whirring, clockwork riddim. Yet still it rolls as Tim was recently discussing.

21:47 D'Cruze: Want You Now (DJ SS & EQ Remix) (Suburban Base)
A step back in time to this thrilling bit of Ardkore, possibly the most famous track here, owing in part to it's inclusion on the second Joint LP in which Moving Shadow and Sub Base when head-to-head. The original is pants incidentally.

23:58 Underground Software: Music Maker Possee (Reinforced)
Included here for it's gourgeous textureology. It's not a choon per se (like the other selections). What's enticing is it's liquid drums, somehow urgent, dread, martial, spilling and aqueous at once.

21:49 A Guy Called Gerald: Anything V.2.1 (Juice Box)
Something satisfyingly nasty and low-slung about this. Gerald packing the canvas with details, less rollidge here with the track twisting to and fro.

31:25 Smokey Joe: Shining Remix (Labello Blanco)
Surprising for it's 4D production, almost Deep Dish does Jungle, but look at the label! It's Labello Blanco, spelling R.E.A.L. innit!

35:17 Prizna: No Man No Bad Feat Junior Demus Grooverider Remix (KUS)
A likkle track off the Prizna LP I always liked.

38:10 More Rockers: In The Beginning (More Rockers)
Don't be put off by the Smith & Mighty connection, this is a one-off epic riddim.

41:18 DJ Solo & DJ Rossie: Sure Shot (FX)
Somewhere on the Hollow Earth site too. Kodwo Eshun hipped me to this in his column in The Wire. He was "on" all of this at the time.

46:27 L Double: The Rider (Flex)
Jump-Up Prog innit.

51:03 Rhytm For Reasons DJ SS Remixes: The Smokers Rhythm (Formation)
Always wanted MORE DJ SS stuff attractive for it's no-nonsense approach (sorta like Boogie Times in this way), though found often it didn't live up to expectations. This a lot of fun, and what a dreamy intro.

54:27 A Guy Called Gerald: Finley's Rainbow (Juice Box)
Impossible to find again. The 4Hero remix everywhere but vastely inferior. Forget the Finlay Quaye debacle after and concentrate on the loveliness of it. Made a neat match with Maxinquaye at the time.

Nonsensical 10.

1. First bit of nonsense:

Paul, who it seems has completely given up blogging (Well dahling it's so 2003!) sent me this requesting I post it. Presumably Eden, who also seems to be somewhat switched off, told him to fak off, that he wouldn't put it up at Uncarved. This isn't NYPLM you nutter Paul. It's Me Me Me striktly. As I'm being asked to edit it I thought I'd take a few liberties with the material:

Engelbert Humperdink at Bed, Sheffield on Friday

I was too knackered to stay til the end, but the standout of what I heard was Jus a Rascal, which was a blitzkrieg-like, its overwhelming, massed-voices monstrosity had everyone screaming. Quite fantastic. Though his freestyle over the Diwali rhythm was also excellent. I left when Semtex tried to get him to rap over PIMP -- I don't think Engelbert Humperdink was much into it, and three times in one night for that track was too much for me, so I wandered off.

2. Second bit of nonsense:

That Kylie Minogue track "Slow." The only bad thing about it is, er, Kylie. I thought maybe some other people could version the same riddim. Firstly I had the idea that a few older women might want to have a crack. Grace Jones or Diamanda Galas maybe. But then thought, nah, too many vocal histrionics, like that daft Bjork bird. Then I thought, Alison Statton (of The Young Marble Giants/Weekend) would be good. She nearly can't sing! Then I thought what about someone who really can't sing. What about Scott Somedisco? Top idea eh!

3. Third bit of nonsense:

My favorite piece of music this year (hands down winner) has been "Let's go fly a Kite." From The Mary Poppins Soundtrack. I have heard this more times than any piece of music EVER. I'm being entirely serious. You have a baby and you'll see. They want the same thing over and over again. Every time I hear it (we all dance to it in a circle in the living-room holding hands) shivers wrack my body. It's just sheer loveliness.

4. Fourth bit of nonsense:

Heard Wiley (was it or was it the BPM crew?) on Delight 103.3 FM spinning back-to-back dubplates. The excitement was almost unbearable. The following were incredible:

D Double E on a cut-up of Dead Prez's Hip-Hop. Lunacy. The original was caned at Eskimo dance actually, which slightly surprised me as Dead Prez (if I'm not mistaken) have a slightly boho rep. They never come across as _that_ street. I adore it regardless, nuff bass innit. Bought it at the time (natch) and slightly disappointed to see them fail to deliver on it.

A re-version of "Know We", called "Know Mix" the riddim sporting what sounds like a loop of Bulgarian Gypsy Violin.

A re-mix of Doogz's "Hold Me Down"

Another new Doogz tune.

5. Fifth bit of nonsense:

Word on the grapevine is that there exists a Calypso version of Gary Numan's "Cars" made in the mid-eighties. Someone find it, reissue it and put a stop that Senor Coconut rubbish. At once!

6. Sixth bit of nonsense:

Heard Sue Lawley on Desert Island Discs interviewing Emmylou Harris (sweet selection: Kate and Anna McGarrigle, Neil Young, Springsteen, er, Daniel Lanois). Sue Lawley, who used to live beneath my dear brother, made *SUCH* an arse of herself everytime she said: "Graham, or Gram, Parsons..." It was received pronunciation purgatory.

7. Seventh bit of nonsense:

Just been round at my friend Steve's house. He showed me this photo which he took in Togo*.

It's a group of people gathering around a secret drum. This drum was taken in war from the neighboring Ashanti tribe 150 years ago. You have to have special status to see it, that's why it's being hidden. As recently as ten years ago, someone who looked at this drum, who wasn't supposed to have, was beaten to death.

*Scan courtesy Blogistan

8. Eighth bit of nonsense:

Except in truth there's nothing nonsensical 'bout this. Stuart Argabright has a blog.

9. Ninth bit of nonsense.

Go see Jess's great end of end of year wrap-up.

10. Tenth bit of nonsense:

Juicy, juicy mix being posted tomorrow which'll be the last worthwhile post of this year. 'Appy Xmas all crew.

Swag.

Driving in the car down the M11 in the dark. On the radio I heard two children being interviewed about their collections:

Grown-up (earnest): "Why did you start collecting?"
Little Boy (playing with own fingers): "Well that's a really long story, but the main reason was to impress my friends."

I know what you mean mate. Let's face it, often it does boil down to (adopts that pose held by noble men in Renaissance Italian pictures, forefinger pointed adroitly at the sky): "Look at my splendour!"

(cut to)

Little Girl: "The best thing about collecting is that you can share your collections with your friends."

That's a softer, nicer way to look at this impulse to hoard. A Milk Chocolate Button for you sweetheart.

-

My friend Gwen came round last night. I've known Gwen for about ten years. In the early nineties he was making music with Charles Bullen from This Heat. Together in 1991 they put out the Circadian Rhythms 12" in an edition of 100. They gave one to Colin Faver I believe. I wonder whether he could have made it's head from it's tail. It's one of those mythic records, a quite sensible "pointe zero" for "Electronica", in the sense that that constitutes a Post-Acid-House form of Electronic Prog.(own eyes pop out on stalks)

I thought Gwen, whose family is French, was working at IRCAM in Paris. Actually he got a scholarship and is studying at Xenakis's institute the CCMIX. He's got his head buried deep in Maths and Stochasticism and has been given tutelage by Bernard Parmegiani, Francois Bayle, Luc Ferrari and Michel Chion. Gwen, the inveterate fanboy, has had all his Music Concrete LPs signed and adorned with drawings by these magi. The unit has amazing compositional hardware, including one computer which will perform realtime timestretching. Hey Geeta check that out! Gwen works incredibly slowly. He'll think about about a piece for 4 months and then knuckle down and compose it in a month. Sadly he forgot to bring any of his music over with him.

Wonderboy makes very good money on the side as a record dealer. Bar possibly one or two people (he insists they exist) he's Europe's pre-eminent dealer. His list of clients is beyond scary. Interestingly a major part of his trade is in Modern Jazz; selling Argentinian Trios to Japanese collectors, and Tubby Hayes records to the highest bidder. Apparently he's losing interest in the dealing game, becoming buried deeper in making his own stuff. I picked up four records off him, which I could scarcely afford, however we don't hook up all that often. I'm going to keep the identity of those ones a secret, but I thought you might be interested to know what else he had in his bag; records I didn't buy. He'd already sold three apparently amazing Bruno Nicolai Italian Soundtracks before he got to me.

Karel Appel: Musique Barbare.
Quite a few famous artists have made records. I have seen LPs by Salvador Dali, Kurt Schwitters, Jean Dubuffet and Jean Tinguley. Usually the great men are assisted by a few musically-inclined chums. I've always been fascinated by Karel Appel, the Dutch "Abstract Expressionist" and founder member of COBRA. That collective's stuff pushes at the boundaries of the acceptable, it takes Expressionism down one of it's ill-trod paths, towards a scatalogical, wilfully out-of-control naiveity. I'm surprised COBRA isn't a bigger touchstone for musical things like Throbbing Gristle, Gabba etc. It's one of those rare instances of a hooligan bourgeois art-form. Have a giggle at this *GREAT* photo from the lavish insert photo-booklet:

Weighty and Solid, Heavy and Light.
A library record from 1966 distinguished by the fact that it contains one brief two minute track by a very early incarnation of Can. Apparently the Can heads are doing their nut in about this record, which *NO-ONE* knew existed before. The track is a very choice little slice of Soundtracks-era Can, a piece they recorded for a porno film (natch). What threw Gwen initially was the flute on it, apparently contributed by an itinerant Englishman, or at least that's what Holger Czukay told him.

Dream Sequence: Cosmic Eye.
This record should have been in that Routes to India spiel I did way back. It's from 1970 and includes John Mayer in it's line-up. Damn it's a beautiful record, better than the Harriott Indo-Jazz ones. A languid, echoing, baubled vision of something twixt Jazz, World and Electronic music. Couldn't afford it sadly.

Mauricio Kagel: Atem.
You might remember me alluding, in that piece immediately after The Silver Records thing I did, to another series of Avant-Garde Records. A series which inspired Sonic Youth's design of their "Avant" collection. Here's another one from that Perspectives Musicales collection. According to legend these were originally produced with clear ribbed plastic sheathes which, when slid on and off, exaggerated the optical effects on the sleeves. Gwen told me he sold Thurston Moore one of this series.

Musikalische Gruppen-Improvisation.
Not a clue what this was, but (before someone pins me down and tells me) to be honest not that interested. Nice cover though.

Theatre Du Chene Noir: Aurora.
A truly exquisite bit of melodic drifting improvisation by an obscure Theatre troupe from Avignon. Amazingly confident performance from a group of totally obscure players. This is on the legendary Futura label, which allegedly outshines BYG and Saravah, indeed parts of this were reminiscent of Don Cherry's Mu (Part 2), though possibly more sublime. Sealing it's status as lost classic is and extraordinary super-intense half-sung monologue by some insane French hippy-chick, adopting the pose of a deity surveying mankind, warning us (in words even dumbo here could understand) to beware of the "Bird People" who will snatch us and carry us from planet to planet, from star to star. Nuts! And before you try and drop me a line to pester me for Gwen's number with a plan to buy this, you ought to know that he was selling it for, gulp, $1,000. Yeah, now we're ALL frustrated!

Umiliani: il Corpo.
Lovely lovely warm "Axelrod-esque" Italian Soundtrack by this master of the genre. This has recently been been reissiued. Form a queue!

Umiliani: Suspense.
(weeps) I desperately wanted this one, which *hasn't* been reissued, but again couldn't afford it. Though it was something like a fifth of the price of Aurora, it was still out of my league. It's darker, emptier and more electronic than the other score.

Marc Moulin: Sam Suffy.
Also REALLY wanted this, an original pressing from 1975, though mainly because I missed last year's reissue of it, which our friend Kirk Degiorgio wrote the liner notes for. As the story goes, Moulin was subsequently involved with electro-disco-pop outfit Telex. His career path strongly resembling the relationship Harry Hosono had with YMO. Gwen also insisted that I track down Placebo "3". I'm afraid this is a game of catch up which I can't afford to play..

BJT.
A great French Jazz curio on the mighty Saravah label (Brigette Fontaine et al), sustained harpsichord over crisp flowing cymbals. (punches sky) I won points by comparing it to the Art Ensemble of New York on Folkways.

The Vampires of Dartmoore: Dracula's Music Cabinet.
Funny how when we English think of the eldritch we imagine Nosferatu in the forests of Bavaria, while these Germans picture Dracula on Dartmoor. This record has a certain notoriety as Andy Votel (Not really in the same league as my Parisian colleague. Ha!) used it on a compilation he put out on Twisted Nerve.

Musica Ed Eletronica.
Grand Piano and Electronics. Nice but/and a little kitsch.

Philosophis.
Er, pass.

Sound Sculptures.
Cute compilation on the interesting Spectrum Label.

Michel Portal: Our Meanings and Feelings.
French Free Jazz stone tablet.

Michel Magne: Musique Tachiste.
Absolutely extraordinary mid-fifties record by this undiscovered genius. Michel Magne had his own manifesto of "Tachisme", a "Tache" in French being a stain. This wonderful bizarre record sports a full orchestra along with close-miked chanting. The thrust of it is extremely rhythmic, bringing to mind Cage's Prepared Piano Pieces like "Mysterious Adventure", but is less monk-ish in that it's scored symphonically. Very "3D" sound. Magne was a proper jobbing musician, he recorded strange Bossa Nova 7"s for the Tourist market and also turned his hand to a genre-defining Exotica record, which hardcore fans of Lyman/Denny/Baxter believe trumps the masters.

-

All in all a fascinating haul. I had a bit of fun playing Gwen "Igloo", some Cold Rush stuff, "I Luv U", Linda Perhacs, and The Books, none of which he'd heard before (you can see he's yet more retro than me!) and which I was delighted he loved. I've been sworn to send him a Grime CD. Lovely to see you bad bwoy.

Woebot on Resonance Download.

Download the Woebot/Kosmische/Resonance Show. It's a disgracefully large 80MB, so I'm afraid I'd advise all dial-up crew to skip this one. Tracklisting here.

Grime Scene.

Constituting my fave tracks this year, ripped vinyl-to-digital in the small hours. Bad year for Garage? You're 'avin a larf guv!

Crunkwave.

Absolutely *KILLER* article by The Tufluvver. The story of DJ Screw, a story I haven't even heard whisper of before. You can almost hear the rigid dogma of dance creaking at the sheer two hundred-pound weight of it. Slow music? Prescription Codeine? A slumberous overweight genius clutching a revolver selling C90s through a crack in a wall? Driving your custom lowrider in graceful arcs? It sounds like a fairy tale. Follow Mickey's links to the Screw Records Website where you can get summa dat stretched-out crunk.

The Crunkwave is upon us. Check Wiley underlining the Grime/Crunk connection. Reynolds wondering aloud whether to research the cough mixture/crunk interface (dark voices issueing from whence?) "Go on Simon! Go On! Catch a heavy cold in the name of avant-lumpen idolatry!" Even Jess, Robin and little me with our Lil Jon the East Side Boyz record, waving it like a talisman. Yes my children, the crunk is upon us.

Consequently it seems a a pity that I know absolutely zilch about Sudden Hip-Hop. Here (groan) is a list I used myself a year or so ago from The Ego Trip Book of Rap Lists, compiled by: "New Orleans Natives and longtime DJs Craig B and KLC, two members of the five man hit-squad known as Beats By The Pound - No Limits Records' tireless in-house production staff." A self-proclaimed History of Bounce Music by folk who outta kno'.

Part II: More Bounce to the ounce New Orleans Style.*

1. We Destroy: Ninja Crew
2. Buck Jump Time: Gregory D
3. Get it Girl: Warren Mayes
4. Where They At?: DJ Jimmy
5. Where they at?: MC T.T. Tucker & DJ Irv
6. I Don't Give a Damn About Your Boyfriend: Tim Smooth
7. Marrero: MC Thick
8. Nasty Bitch: Bust Down
9. Pass the Snake: 3-9 Possee
10. Bounce Baby Bounce: Everlasting Hitman
11. Get the Gat: Lil' Elt
12. It's all about Yo' Lips: Poppa Doc
13. Sista Sista: Silky Slim
14. Goin' Off: Black Menace
15. Gotta be Real: Pimp Daddy
16. It Aint Where Ya From- Joe Blakk
17. Not Yo Trick Daddy: Daddy Yo
18. The Payback: Mia X
19. Where's Dat Nigga: Females in Charge
20. Slide Giddy Up: Full Pack

Re-published here with nary a wink in thanks.

I've found a few of these, but not nearly enough. Set your slsk on dem. The best thing I harvested from this list is "Where They At?" by DJ Jimmy which might feature in my tightly stuffed top ten tracks of all time. Desert Island Discs, picture me banging my head against a coconut to this; shaking my ass "like a saltshaker" as I spear crabs with bamboo. It's the collision of differing timbral envelopes that totally sells me on it, the cheap ruff low-slung drums rubbed up against the nightripping-hoods-in-an-echo-chamber backdrop spliced into a swirling ethereal Black-Ark/Dr.John soft clipped sample. And the language (blushes) well it's not exactly the Queen's English as I was taught it. That DJ Jimmy needs to wash his mouth out with soap and water! Disgraceful!

*Incidentally Part I is entitled: "The Pre-Bounce Hip Hop Classics."

Grime Central.

Witness Jim's adventures at Uptown Records. It's a top shop. Probably my most regular Garage haunt, this is largely down to it's placement in the Beatnik's "Golden Triangle" of Soho Record Emporiums.

However, I wouldn't agree with Mickey Toughlove's (admittedly casual) observation that it's got the same vibe as the Black Market Records basement did in the heyday of Jungle. Even though they're on the same street. Something to do with Jungle's UK-wide status meant that THAT WAS the hub of Jungle, as opposed to somewhere slightly outside central London. One would see Roni Size, Gerald and L Double all popping their noses in.

Grime Central, and this is commensurate with it's status as a distinctly "London Someting", is Rhythm Division on Roman Road (Befnall Green innit), as I believe Reynolds correctly ascertained in one of his series of missives on the Ardkore Continuum published in The Wire. The only reason I don't get out there that often (a pathetic single visit this year) is that I'm a puny toff. Jim on the other hand is a barrell-chested cockney mofo, AND lives further east than me, so he hasn't got an excuse.

Doctor in the House.

In an email headed "Get over it love", Matt Cogger (Neuropolitique) writes:

Go for a walk.

Get some fresh air.

Get over it.

Thanks for the advice Matt.

Regular Bollocks.

Just discovered Jon Dale's "review" of of the Les Vampyrettes 12" (stifles own laughter). What's with the "reviews" thing that's biting blogdom right now? What's wrong with half-arsed, poorly-researched, badly-punctuated rants? Like wot I do innit. Dale remarks: "Hmm. I think Matt’s gilding the lily a little with this 12”, but only insofar as I think it’s quite good and he thinks it’s freakishly wonderful." (sides literally split aside with mirth) Jon you bastard! (shakes fist) I think that calls us quits after my general slaughtering of the Hobbits-with-Acoustic-Guitars massive.

Big up to Robin Carmody for picking up some of the points from my Delia and Daphne spiel, and also check his spellbinding thing on Westwood. This made me laugh: "The middle-class self-loathing...of Ingram's Radiophonic piece gets to me somewhat.." (winks) Gosh, I'm terribly sorry!

I would like to pick up Robin on one thing, he remarks:

"I wouldn't be afraid to call Delia Derbyshire's best work Art and call "Get Low" or, indeed, Keith Mansfield's "Teenage Chase" Art *at the same time*; there's no contradiction to me, they can both co-exist."

My point was not aimed at the "reception" of culture, and I'm not concerned with discussions of high-vs-low per se, rather how the creator describes him/herself. I guess I don't have much truck with ANYONE calling themselves them an artist, though I'd probably be happier to hear Lil Jon & East Side Boyz call themselves artists than Delia. Ya get me? Surely that's the prerogative of the consumer anyway, to decide what is art and what isn't? If it vibrates it's art! It simply bothers me that official culture, safe and funded (with tea-breaks and biscuits) so easily gets treated like art while the real stuff gets flushed down the loo.

Maybe that makes me a Nazi? I hope not, though I'd be curious to know.

The Les Vampyrettes Saga.

I must admit to being continually amazed by the distances involved in this Internet malarkey. Just like a kid. I hope I never get blase about chatting to folk dotted all around the globe. The Les Vampyrettes 12" which I've been championing has been a case in point. By-the-by, put "Les Vampyrettes" into Google!

As a result of reading about the record here, my pal cAREFUL kID from San Francisco (who works in Amoeba records there) picked up the record in Japan, where he was on tour playing bass in an Emo band. Jon Dale at Worlds of Possibility picked up a copy on his recent trip to Melbourne. Both were good deals by the sound of it.

You may remember Michael Manners (from Germany) emailing me trying to buy it off me, and subsequent to that Holger Czukay ripping him a copy onto CD. My friend, notorious record-dealer Sacha Dieu found one in London the other day (he called me on his mobile from the store: "Is this the REALLY DARK one you played me the other day?") and so I fixed him up with Michael. Sacha's price was too high apparently. The deal fell through.

Just last night I was having a beer with Sacha and he revealed that he'd sold the record to Jerry Dammers. Apparently Jerry loved it. Sacha told Jerry he thought he might have found it too dark. Jerry said nonsense, and put on Bruno Nicolai's Soundtrack to "Marquis De Sade." Word!

Missed in 2003.

The following I tried desperately hard to track down this year but failed. I haven't heard Rat Race, but the others are all absolutely frigging amazing. And the bad news with the Grime is that the chance of finding them in the future is practically zero, though I heard a rumour (direct from one of Wiley's entourage) that upon the release of the LP they're going to reissue all his back catalogue. Place your orders folks!

Harry Toddler: Donkey Kick
Sharkie Major: It Ain't A Game
Danny Weed: Rat Race
Matthew Johnson: Typerope

Typerope is without a doubt one of my top five tracks this year. If you liked Isolee you HAVE to hear this.

Faffing about.

More faffing about on the links bar. It's gone alphabetic though interlopers would do as well to realise that Blissblog could become "A Blissblog", hey I'm partisan! Worried too about K-Punk's new ranking, thought maybe a ~(tilda) would suit him nicely as a suffix, but he's bigger than that. As for the rest of you, well put up and shut up! Welcome to my new semi-democratic Links Bar.

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to Dave Stelfox for not linking him sooner, he's seriously got the bug now and I'm really "feeling" his stuff. I'd like to give a big shout out to the following who have been giving me enormous pleasure recently: Sacha Frere Jones (still LOVING those photos mate), Emerald Daze (blogging up a storm), Crumbling Loaf (whose pithy observations linger with me for days and days), and a huge big up to my man Heronbone (who's been on beyond brilliant form for a couple of months now). All this wondrous bounty makes up for the quietness of some of my other fave auteurs. (Hey that's OK folks, life rules!) As for the Machines! If you're more than one dude, are a website or a resource you're now officially a Machine. Machines rock too!

The rules of the links bar are as such: you link me and I link you. Failing that: you ask me to link you and tell me you'll consider reciprocating. Failing that: I link you, then you link me and then decide that I'm really not a very good writer and banish me from your world altogether. Hey I'm easy!

Prog.

lol :-)

Not 2003.

Records I didn't buy this year.

The Luomo LP.
The Outkast LP.
The Pitman LP.
The Ricard Villalobos LP.
The Rapture LP.
The Basement Jaxx LP.
The Kylie Minogue LP.
The Herbert LP.
The Prefuse 73 LP.
The Four Tet LP.
The Belle & Sebastian LP.
The Justin Timberlake LP.
The White Stripes LP.
The Sean Paul LP.
The Neptunes Clones LP.

Which I wouldn't refuse as Christmas presents, but wasn't compelled to own.

2003.

Not a best of 2003 but constituting a "warts'n'all" list of EVERY new release I bought (in the sense of paid money for and smuggled home in a plastic bag) in the year 2003:

Grime Innit:
J2K feat Wiley: They Will Not Like You
Durrty Doogz; Hold Me Down
Wizzbit feat MC Riko: Popadomz
Ity: Wait a Minute (Sticky Remix)
Wiley: Ground Zero
Mad Sabre: Kung
DJ Marsta: Gridlock
Simon Sez: Shut Your Mouth
Ice Rink: MCs Vol 1 EP
Ice Rink: MCs Vol 2 EP
Special Delivery: Countdown
Boo Kroo: BK Theme
Donaeo: My Philosophy (Bounce) Miami Bass Mix
K2/Dem Lott: What!
All Out: Live Caller
Aylesbury Allstars: Buss Red Light
Shystie: I Love U
Jon E Cash/Black Ops: Westside
Wiley: Lockdown
Roll Deep: We're Still the same
DJ Target feat Wiley: Pick Yourself Up
Crazy Titch: I can C U, U can C Me
NASTY feat Crazy Titch and Rico Dan: Cock Back
Jammer+: Destruction
Big-E D Feat D Double E: Frontline
Dizzy Rascal: Vexed
Nasty Crew: Good You Know
Ruff Squad: Tingz in Bootz
Musical Mob Feat Lorraine Kato: Bring Back the Ladies
Wizzbit: Jamhot
Simon Sez: Golly Gosh
D Double E: Birds in the Sky
MC Dilemma: What's my Name?
Sticky: Triplets
The Surgery Feat Mr. Bigg Shott: Shott The Weed
Dizzy Rascal: Go
Menta: Rubba
Studio Gangsters: Step Off
The Ends: The Ends
Demon Bass Two
Girls
Vice Versa
Wire
Sticky Feat Tubby T: Ganjaman
Youngster and 166: Baby Pulse
Donaeo: My Philosophy (Bounce)
Outlaw Breaks Feat Gemma Fox and Sweetie Irie: Dutty (Wiley Remix)
DJ Marsta: Clap
Wizzbit: Aquarius
Dizzy Rascal: Hoe
Wiley: Igloo
2nd II None: Signal/Bulldozer/Fuse
Wiley: Gunshot
Strike Da Match
MC Dappa and Hyperactive: Killem wid Da Riddim
Dynamite MC: Rush Da DJ
Roll Deep: Regular
Slimzos 2
Roll Deep: DW
Big $hot: Glitch
Roll Deep: Bounce
Stone Cold CX: Alize
JB: Seen U B4
Dizzy Rascal: Boy In Da Corner LP

Dancehall 7"s:
Assasin: Roll In
Sizzla: Oh Yes Baby
Sizzla: Mama Africa
Vibes Kartel: Nobody No Dead
Vybz Cartel: Money Over War
Bounty Killer & Angel Douglas: Gal Turn Me On
Jiggsy King: Modelling
Ward 21/Bounty Killer: Badda Than That
Wayne Marshall: I Will Love The Girls
Mr Lex: Face It
Ward 21/Vybz Kartel: Nah Climb
Ward 21: Hey Gal
Spragga Benz: Wow
Harry Toddler: Kaos
Tanya Stephens: Toe to Toe
Vybz Cartel: Please
Elephant Man: Secret Admirer
Elephant Man: Mexican Girl
Chico: Exchange
Lantan: Nah Bow Down Low
Capt. Barkey: Right Hands
Vybz Kartel: All Out
Ragga Ragga Ragga 2003 LP

Urban Innit:
Ludacris: Stand Up
Punjabi Hit Squad Feat Ms Scandalous: Hai Hai
Fatman Scoop: Be Faithful
Obie Trice: Got Some Teeth
Kelis: Milkshake
Lil Jon & East Side Boyz: Get Low
Punjabi MC: Mundian To Bach Ke
50 Cent: In Da Club
Fallacy: Big'n'Bashy
Nuffwish Vol 3: Blu Cantrell-vs-L. Jones

Techno Innit:
Richard X: Presents His X-Factor Vol 1
Junior Boys: Birthday...Last Exit
David Sylvian: Blemish
Dinky: Black Cabaret
The Soft Pink Truth: Can You Party
The Bug: Pressure
Ghostly International: Idol Tryouts Vol 1
The Mover: Frontal Frustration
Angola: Carl Craig/Pepe Bradock
Quarks: I Walk
Colleen: Everyone Alive Wants Answers
Fabric 13: Michael Mayer
AI Records: Newtown Compilation

"Stop this Reissue Madness!":
Music From The BBC Radiophonic Workshop
New Religion Present: A Secret History
New Deutsch
Teutonik Disaster 2
6 x Glen Brown 10" EPs
Cool As Ice: The Be Music Productions
Messthetics x 10

America We Love You:
The Books: The Lemon of Pink
Kevin Blechdom: Bitches Without Britches
Chk Chk Chk: Me and Giuiani
Animal Collective: Here Comes the Indian
The Rapture: House of Jealous Lovers 7"

Metal Innit:
Noxagt
Sightings
Old Man Gloom
Lightning Bolt: Wonderful Rainbow

The respective scale of each section dramatically highlights the level of interest each of these "genres" held for me as a punter. This was an atrocious year for the beatniks. Art music seems to be dying on the vine. Grime pays.

Delia and Daphne.

In one of those strange group mind moments a number of Bloggers have been talking about the BBC and Delia Derbyshire. Emerald Daze has been heaping praise on the White Noise LP (a recording I'll confess to never having really enjoyed), Gutterbreakz refers to Derbyshire in heaping scorn upon Paul McCartney and K-Punk has been lamenting the remake of TOTP. Fisher's approach to the Beeb fascinates me, he's always credited it with an aesthetic of it's own. This might seem an unusual approach, assigning a signature to such an enormous amorphous institution, but I think he's right. Beeb product is usually morally responsible, it's also (as Mark once remarked) "homespun." The BBC never manages to be very glamorous. What I like about K-Punk's angle is that in nailing the Beeb, it's easier to identify the gaps in it's mollusc-like grip on the British psyche, easier to "see" it. To add a parallel strand to the discourse Rephlex records have just released a 4x10" collection of music from The BBC Radiophonic Workshop. Be like me, buy it.

The single best essay on the BBC Radiophonic Workshop is at Elidor, an insanely well-researched piece by Robin Carmody. After a thorough investigation of the Rephlex disc I can confirm Carmody's qualitative observations are positively spot-on. Delia Derbyshire's oevre sails above all other contributors, with John Baker's coming a respectable second place. There is a lightness of touch to Derbyshire's work that amply explains the laurels heaped on her by (amongst others) Sonic Boom. At turns funny, "Door to Door", oblique "Ziwzih Ziwzih OO-OO-OO" and tense "Pot au Feu" her music is always both sweetly tuneful and refreshingly "other". Better yet are the tracks Rephlex have grouped on the B-side of her dedicated EP. "Blue Veils And Golden Sands", "The Delian Mode" and "Toward Tomorrow" are vaste darkwave driftworks cut loose from the fabric of late 1960s culture, more charming and sensuous than Stockhausen's blank-eyed zero-kelvin mantras ("Telemusik", "Hymnen" etc) they clearly owe more to Pop than Serialism, without this compromising their integrity, but what Pop? I guess, without wanting to become mired in a fierce debate about sexual politics, hers is a woman's work. It's music you want to bathe in rather than be objectified by, and in that sense it's more modern than the extreme atonality of 60s masculine hair-shirt Avant-Gardism. In fact her music resonates with the period of Post-Techno Electronics, when the glowing embers of the rave are still red in the grate, and before the fiddly encroachments of Modern Electronica in thrall of conceptualism and cowering beneath the legacy of the aforementioned avant-dudes. It's hardly a surprise that Rephlex (home to The Aphex Twin) have put this out.

John Baker's disc is crankier. Baker has fun with textureology, he's not plumbing the depths of the synthesiser like Delia. Duane Eddy twanging ahoy! Tunes tend to be overcompressed with detail, not as in awe of space, though at times the sounds are given room to breathe as on "Accentric" "Brio" or "P.I.G.S" (where a cyborg cello outro it opens up the virtual sonic terrain unexpectedly) and you're left craving more. Inevitably his music is marked by the times, though this isn't always such a bad thing. 50% of the attraction of this music is it's wholly unexpected timbre. If one's used to the invisible colour of the Korg, Casio and Roland these hokey synths sound gourgeously elastic and unfettered, organic even. The attraction of Derbyshire's "Doctor Who Theme" lies surely in it's heathen lollopping echoaic bassline. So loose! So organic! One can see why these old synths are collectible, they're like tickets to another sonic dimension. I believe Carmody makes the same point (with more authority), that the renewed interest in the music is largely to do with it's analogue "freshness."

The problem with this music is precisely that which afflicts Library music, with which it shares the attraction of sonic slinkiness, and which has also been mined to exhaustion by a generation of plunderers bent on feeding their AKAI's new old sounds. It's lacking a purpose. Differing from the ringing cash register of Library music, the work of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop has been curated at the behest of the BBC, the closest thing this country has to government-endorsed culture. Publicly incorporated in 1927 (a commercial venture for 5 years) it has been haunted by Sir John Reith's values, a well-intended wish to act "contributing consistently and cumulatively to the intellectual and moral happiness of the community." However owing to it's dependence on a license fee, farmed at the behest of the ruling majority, it's quite easy to view it's role as Number Ten's Nanny. It's colloquially referred to as "Auntie", a moniker resonating with revealing complexities. The true maverick geniuses of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, Daphne Oram (more later) and Delia Derbyshire both came at odds with this "official" culture and left, Daphne (who set up the Workshop in 1957) first in the mid sixties, then Delia in 1971.

There are examples of other similar cultural experiments which happened in the shadow of the BBC, most notably, and interestingly also in a space which was opened up by the second world war (when the British Government, through processes such as the distribution of rations, came to act in a wholly Socialistic manner by necessity) was John Grierson's Documentary Film Unit. Indeed the maverick of that collective, Humphrey Jennings, could be seen as the Delia Derbyshire of Documentary film. (Love those Ds!). Also it's worth noting at this point that Government-curated music needn't necessarily be devoid of socio-cultural frisson, for example France's IRCAM experimental audio unit (while also capable of being mothballed) is connected to the rhizome of government beauracracy. I'll have to confess I feel quite strongly on this point, ever since digesting Marshall Berman's wonderful "All That Is Solid Melts Into Air" I've had a suspicion of feudal culture. And that's it; for me the BBC represents the unsightly hangover of pre-modernity, of liege and lief. For all the wonderful contributions it's made (Eastenders innit!) I wish it'd cut itself free from Government.

But how does this affect the integrity of the practitioners of the Radiophonic Workshop? I harbour a suspicion of all institutionalised art. With everyone tripping over themselves to give the unit a posthumous thumb-ups (it shut down in 1998) I'll admit to being deeply unwilling to bestow on it's creations the mantle of "ART," even Delia's exquisite offerings. I'd rather call the free-market, capitalistic, morally-bankrupt shenanigans of Advertising art. This might boil down to a discomfort at the smugness of bourgeois middle-class institutionalised "artists" describing themselves as such, though I don't mind in the least when they call themselves anything else. There's a story which Berman quotes from Baudelaire which perfectly sums this up. Written just before Baudelaire's death, "Loss of A Halo" tells the tale of a poet and an "ordinary man" who bump into eachother in a brothel, to the embarassment of both. The ordinary man who has always cherished an exalted idea of the artist is aghast to find one here:

"What! You here my friend? You in a place like this? You the eater of ambrosia, the drinker of quintessences! I'm amazed!"

The poet explains:

"My friend, you know how terrified I am of horses and vehicles? Well, just now as I was crossing the boulevard in a great hurry, splashing through the mud, in the midst of a moving chaos, with death galloping at me from every side, I made a sudden move, and my halo slipped off my head and fell into the mire of the macadam. I was much too scared to pick it up. I thought it was less unpleasant to lose my insignia than to get my bones broken. Besides I said to myself, every cloud has a silver lining. Now I can walk around incognito, do low things, throw myself into every kind of filth, just like ordinary mortals. So here I am, just as you see me, just like yourself!"

Obviously the central tenet of the parable is the collision of bourgeois self-sanctity with the dynamic thrust of modernism, with the street in essence. Macadam. I think that the only artist is a dethroned artist, and that more often than not institionalised culture works against this, procuring in the individual a self-satisfied "halo" which, within the world as it exists today, just isn't tenable. When I read Sean railing at Upper Middle Class twats with comfortable jobs in the Media I think of this. These are people clinging onto their "halos." (Jesus I'm sounding self-opinionated tonight) It's not as crass as a call to arms for the bedraggled Underemployed (Freelancers) cos many great artists worked to fund their art. Within the field of music, off the top of my head you have Roy Cousins (The Royals) who worked religiously at the Kingston Post Office to fund his reggae recordings, or at the other end of the spectrum John Cage's darling Charles Ives and his enormously successful Insurance Company, his composing hidden in the background. Maybe it's just personal frustration at never quite finding the right niche, but if I ever do get that "wonder job" shoot me in the fucking knees if I tell you I'm an artist.

One character who I was surprised escaped Robin's masterful summary of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop was Daphne Oram. Daphne who passed away aged 77 in January of this year to nary a squeak. Clearly the instigator of the entire project, and evidently (like the ladies conducting the buses) a person given enough space by the cultural upheaval of the second world war to sneak into the male-dominated world. Daphne, as we mentioned earlier, tired of the strictures of the BBC early on, in part owing to meetings with both Cage and Stockhausen, and upped-sticks to the Kentish Coast where she worked on an eccentric image-to-sound science of synthesis called "Oramics", eeirly similar to the kind of thing Morton Subotnik has been working on in recent years. If you can see past the gormless strapline: "The Unsung Pioneer of Techno", the obituary (on the BBC's own site!) is touching, especially owing to the comments posted after it, particularly those of Hugh Davies the composer.

Because I'm a freaky crate-digger I even have an Oram record! As I write this I'm enjoying "Three Single Sounds Taken in Canon" from the EP pictured bookending this thinly-disguised rant (you should be able to read the type off the back cover). The 7", from 1962, is orchestrated so sparsely as to function like ultra-minimal morse into the void. These sounds, which must have been impossibly difficult to produce has, once again, share echoes with Stockhausen's "Gesang der Junglinge" of 1956. The latter a hymn for youth, the former "intended for children to enjoy" and which "may lead them into movement of a dancelike character..."

West Country Prog.

Don't know why I didn't produce this* when Prog Fever was sweeping the Nerdosphere, but if k-punk can still talk Prog, well so can I! I'm quite fond of this doodle, particularly the smoldering sexual and financial undercurrents...however the narrative is a bit, er, tangental .

*The usual instructions apply, click on the image and keep clicking.

Disclaimer.

I'm not a Nazi, honest Guv!

My Great-grandfather was General Sir Arthur Smith, Montgomery's right-hand man (defamed in the exercable Hollywood movie Patton). We drove out the hun! Now I'm playing on the "Kosmische" show! What gives!

For the record (before I stumble into some kind of minefield) I hadn't thought through the implications of the SS tag, it was supposed to be an abbreviation. (jeering crowd). Vis a vis Hollow Earth (and gee thanks for making it look suspicious bad bwoy!) The Polar myth is only elliptically connected with Nazism. You can't quote the occult tradition (even as a joke!) without falling foul of political correctness.

I am not even vaguely sympathetic to Nazism or any other right wing cause for that matter. Anyone who's read this blog will give that credence. In future (groan) I'll be on guard.

Eskimo Dance Corroboration.

See I wasn't making it up!

Shame really, security and daft MCs screwing up a fine party.

Woebot on Resonance.

Joachim Witt- Tri Tra Trullala.
Linda Lamb- Hotroom.
Les Vampyrettes- Biomutanten.
Carmen- Schlaraffenland.
Memphis Bleek- Is That Your Chick.
Peter Gordon- Star Jaws.
RE- Underground Goodie from A Change of Season EP.
Gal Costa- Baby.
Ramsey Lewis- Cry Baby Cry.
Wings- Band On The Run/Jet.
Novois Baianos- Preta Pretinha.
Steely & Cleevie- 10% version.
Ja Rule- 6ft Underground.
Wladimir M- Evil.
Cypher- Frozen Boom Erection.
Cornell Campbell- King In My Empire.
Scientist- Bad Days Dubwise.
Lee Dorsey- On Your Way Down.
The Rest: Raga.
John Cale/Terry Riley- The Soul of Patrick Lee.
The Plastic People- Toxika.
Areski/Bridget Fontaine- Le 6 Septembre.
Linda Perhacs- Who Really Cares.

Special thanks to the totally ace Jim Backhouse at Kosmische.

I gave so many shout-outs I'm hoarse! With any luck I'll be able to offer this up as an mp3 within the week. Thanks to everyone who tuned in.

Resonance FM Tonight.

It's official! Woebot SS* (standing for sound system) is on Resonance 104.4 FM tonight at 10pm.

I've assured my very gracious host, man like Jim Backhouse, that I won't disappoint so it'll be back-to-back bounty. Anyone who wants a shout out hit Get Personal>I need you to know. Failing that UK crew can txt me on *****-******
Comments box is open for requests in a "Kosmiche" vein.

*I've been teetering on the brink of calling myself "The Woebot Archive", just because it sounds spectacularly nerdy.

At Home he feels like a Tourist.

Was up late last night and made the mistake of not checking my email. I found out this morning on an email from Jim Backhouse that he urgently needed the Kosmiche slot on Resonance FM filled. I would have dropped EVERYTHING and rushed over. Too bad. Of course, pursuant my earlier comments at Woebot, I'd be duty bound to play every Taxi Driver's favourite shmaltz.

Instead I was doing my VAT. Going through my receipts from record stores. I've never touched on this before but I have exactly the same love/hate relationship with this record-collecting affliction that I've noticed at both CNWB and Emerald Daze. It's just not on is it? I used to really beat myself up over it. I'd set totally unrealistic goals, limit myself to certain sums or certain amounts of records per week or per month. I'm still paying lip-service to one of my budgeting schemes at the moment! For a long time last year I actually stopped buying altogether, one of the most miserable six month periods of my life (ha ha). Actually it was probably five months. I kept the fever at bay by obsessively downloading mp3s, this might explain the record industry's near-collapse. I've had the bug since I was 15, and it's been the most dominating habit of my life thus far. To stop would be to tear a strip right out of me. It's not just the objects themselves you see, it's the practice: the hunting, the walking, the reading, the encoding, the community and, er, listening to them.

So I've given up worrying about it. I'm quite controlled in other areas of my life. I don't smoke or do drugs (anymore, titter). I don't drink Tea or Coffee. I probably manage a couple of pints of beer a month. And well the good thing about records is that they don't disappear. You don't wake up in the morning and rubbing your head as you peer into your wallet (escaping moths), "Jesus where did all that cash go?" They're not a bad investment. They're not as good as an investment as one sometimes kids oneself, but they're alright. For instance last month I picked up Stockhausen's "Illimite" on Shandar for $20 at a store in Islington. My friend Sacha reported that the same record went on eBay for $150 the next day. And it's a truly wonderful piece, Karlheinz at his most relaxed and "Kosmiche", intoning Indian wisdom in the steely american accent of an IBM engineer.

Still as I licked the seal on the Inland Revenue envelope (they owe ME money at least) I vowed to cut back. This time (oh yeah!) for real.

gabba_pod.

Gabba_Amp has been renamed gabba_pod. It's been redesigned and moved to a server in a Siberian coalmine. Looking absolutely FANTASTIC I must say. Now you can vote on tracks and leave comments too, which is well cool. It's as good as TOTP for dysfunctional music-obsessed mockneys like myself. However, HOWEVER, you have to be "one of the club." Here's hoping my online credit is good.

Red Peril.

Courtesy of Blogistan.