July 31, 2004

(Fade up. Somewhere in the middle of Carlin's 500 questions for music bloggers. Ingram spotlight in large leather armchair, mostly shielding face.)

C: Which NME jounalist famously remarked that he preferred a Tight Fit single to Led Zepellin's third album?

I: (Grips forehead). Pass.

C: Who sang (rather cheekily: "Jack? I'd rather Fleetwood Mac!"?

I: (Face brightens.) Oh yes I know this. The Reynolds Girls.

(Audience sighs, coughs, shuffles.)

C: (Drolly) Bringing your score up to 6. Gothic plainchant chanteuse Kirkby and pop siren Bunton share this first name. What is it?

I: Pass.

C: Which svengali was behind the maverick ZTT label who released recordings by artists such as Propaganda, Art of Noise and Frankie Goes to Hollywood?

I: Er. Oh shit! It's on the tip of my tongue.

C: I'm going to have to press you Matty Lad.

I: Ian Penman?

C: Wrong answer. The correct answer is of course Paul Morley.

I: (Tuts.)

C: Which former British free-jazz singer coached the Spice Girls?

I: Pass.

C: What is a "punctum"?

I: Oh hell, you were talking about this recently... I'm sorry, pass.

C: Who wrote the excellent "Words and Music: A History of Pop in the Shape of a City" ?

I: Pass.

C: On which Roy Harper LP did Linda and Paul McCartney sing backing vocals?

I: Pass. (mumbles to himself). Not doing well here.

C: Which artist recorded LPs entitled Bullinamingoase, Stormcock and Flat Baroque And Berserk?

I: Pass.

C: Which 1970s album by conceptual rocker Todd Rungdren anticipated the, quote "Junior Boys Sound" unquote, by a cool thirty years?

I: Damn. I know this... Sorry, pass.

C: Which is the best Kate Bush LP?

I: (quickly) The Dreaming.

I: Sorry that is the wrong answer. The correct answer is Hounds of Love.

C: Jimi Hendrix and Peter Brotzmann both recorded a song by this name. What is it?

I: "The Star Spangled Banner"

C: No the correct answer is "Machine Gun."
Which former record-label boss was described thus by Brian Eno: "The greatest thinker / writer / social critic / tv presenter since Plato / Keynes / Duchamp / Betjeman'

I: Pass, sorry.

C: Which British free-jazzer appeared on Nick Drake's "Bryter Later" LP?

I: Pass.

(Ingram takes a sip on a glass of water to steady his nerves)

C: Which Peter and Michael track, a ham-fisted, if charming portrait of folk-artist Lowry was number one in the charts for 7 weeks in the 1970s?

I: Pass.

C: What was Lonnie Donegan's debut LP entitled?

I: Pass.

C: Which British free-jazz label issued classics by Keith Tippett, Chris McGregor and Marc Charig?

I: Pass.

C: Here's a dance music question you may do better at.
Which disco diva featured on Black Box's Italo House masterpiece "Ride on Time"?

I: Gloria Gaynor? No, oh shit, it was Loretta Holloway.

C: I'm afraid I'll have to take your first answer. Which incidentally was incorrect.

(Carlin shuffles cards. Frowns.)

C: In the immortal phraseology of the ILM message board: Mike Skinner, classic or dud?

I: Dud?

C: (Grins.) I ask the questions round here. I'll take that as a pass...
What is deterritorialisation when it's at home?

I: This is supposed to be a music quiz!

C: The question stands.

I: Pass.

C: What is the connection between Girls Aloud and junglist Boymerang?

(Pause. Ingram looking pale.)

C: C'mon Matthew you MUST know this one..... Moving swiftly on.
Who composed "Music On A Long Thin Wire?"

I: (Sighs). Pass.

(Fade down)

Posted by Woebot at July 31, 2004 11:00 PM