Last night I had two guest passes to the Adidas/Yohji Yamamoto fashion launch. I've spent the last ten days designing a 12 screen projection for the newly opened uber-club Sketch where the premiere was happening. 12 half-hour DigiBeta clips, now thats alot of data. Nearly as much as evident on the recent ILM Christagau extravanganza. Missy Elliott was to be doing a show, supposedly in town for the Brits, but then couldn't make it. The replacement act....N.E.R.D. or The Nerds as the fashionistas kept referring to them, perhaps presuming they're one of these Definitive Article Bands TM.
Catherine dolled up for the first time in two years and I put on my boiler-suit and binbag. At the entrance we waded through paps and celebs (both Trevor and Janet Jackson) and into the club populated by people lifted from the pages of Vogue. My projections looked fabulous (darling), I managed to bottle on my inner terror at seeing the odd mistake and the Mrs and I snogged and cuddled. Then we left before I turned into a pumpkin. Before The N.E.R.D! I was hoping that they were to be the centrepiece of this scribble, but my honey was tired and keen to see her baby sleeping sound so we peeled off.
What a lucky escape! Guess who they brought with them, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. It would have taken more strength than I have to have stopped myself from striding onstage, poking a finger in JT's eye, kicking him in the shins and dragging him around the platform by his hair. As for Ms Aguilera if I hear another meta-pop apologist saying how much they like her "Dirrty" (and anything by JT for that matter) I'll tear their throats out. Am I protesting too loudly? Of course it would have been an interesting spectacle in front of such a tiny crowd (350 people). It reminds me of that time I was on the Eurostar back from Paris during the World Cup Match Final. Not that I like football. You see the parrallel. A mate who did stay said it was "scary". It also pinpoints exactly what is so fucked up about The Neptunes.
If you hadn't noticed it's open season on Chad and Pharrell. They deserve a good bashing for all this Britney/Timberlake thing. Its 'orrible. Can you think of an equivalent in the history of music, of a production team so at home with the notionally "underground" (though lets face it platinum rap shifts units) and the queasiest pop. Three of my faves of last year, Clipse's "Grindin" Remix, Noreaga's "Nothin'" and Snoop Dogg's "From da Chuch to da Palace" were Neptunes things dammnit. On the subject of the Snoop track, did no-one notice it and its mentasm fx, was y'all too busy compiling your end of year lists? Maybe thats also the problem, they're detaching the sounds from their signifiers, using them for just plain flashiness. To use the mentasm sound you have to have raved in a muddy field at least once.
Which brings us to the Timbaland thing. Sacha Frere-Jones is holding court at the Voice saying OK good year Neptunes but no "Work It". He's right, and I was astonished at how lacklustre the response to "Work It" was. I practically crashed the car the first time I heard it. OK the LPs a bit okey-doke. SFJ is also totally right about the N.E.R.D boys in general (being a bit ikky) but he's got Timbaland wrong. He is trying to squeeze Tim into his Wu Tang-DJ Premier proper hip-hop mould. This dates back to an old interview he did with Tim in which he nearly got decked by Mosely for saying that, unlike Premier, Mosely's beats were clean. They may pack a punch and they are raw but they sure as hell aren't dirty! I think it put a swerve on his thinking. Timbaland managed to reinvent Hip-Hop because what he was doing was equal parts R'n'B, Disco, and New Orleans Bounce. That's what made him interesting for goodness sakes. The DJ Premier, Wu-Tang strain of grimy hip-hop was great but a cul-de-sac in many ways. The natural successors for this particular tradition are the likes of Lootpack, Madlib (any Stones Throw stuff) and even the backpackers. Tim's stuff is too superficial. I mean this here as a compliment. If Hip-Hop got any darker, worthier or male it would have withered. Tim's stuff was a breath of fresh air for precisely the reason that reason that it wasn't like the "Hip-Hop" before it. Of course the sting in the tail is that he's opened the gates for the likes of Nelly (smelling sour already, I loved "Country Grammer", but hate "Hot in Herre", what utter rubbish...) and N.E.R.D.
I'm actually having misgivings about that first N.E.R.D LP, it's "lite"-ness and generally slightly nasty vibe has been getting to me. As for the rock re-make puhlease!
Posted by Woebot at February 20, 2003 12:01 PM