I've been holding back on this one, but now I've played it so hip to the hilt that I'm sick of my face in the mirror, it's time. THE HOUR HAS COME!
There are loads of devices which thorny old theorists use when tackling Pop music. The first being the well-documented form:"Taking-The-Pet-Shop-Boys-Seriously". Or Madonna. Most famous practioner being Simon Frith, who I once accosted* in Glasgow where he was ensconced (multiple resonances there) as I dunno, "leader" of the cultural studies department at The University of Strathclyde. You think I'm a neophyte when it comes to pestering celebrity music theorists? Think again sucker.... If I'm being cruel I'd say that this approach is often a result of the theorist failing to lock gears with more interesting musical currents. Kind of like they're old, disenchanted and idle. Punk didn't deliver. It's all meaningless tosh. Etcetera. Mainly these are excuses and it's just laziness. Pomo shmomo!
One of the other strands is the "Gilded" pop approach. Curiously this has strong roots in Glasgow too, at the hands of Pat "Hue+Cry" Kane, the rocking rector, with musical manifestions in Deacon Blue, Eddi Reader, Simple Minds, The Procalimers, The Blue Nile (ha ha) and Wet Wet Wet. Maybe this is something to do with the outreach of Calvinism. Preacher craning down from pulpit: "Oh no kids! Not that terrible music. You must listen to this Perfect wholesome Pop instead." YUK!
Then there's the Skykicking innovation. Write about Pop which gives you that RUSH. The same dopey meaningless hit you get from Ardcore and Platinum Rap. Don't distinguish. Trust your feelings! Get that pop fix! Ugh! (smacks arm...swoons) Me, I like Tim's approach. I think there's too strong a trace of irony in Morley's angle. Any authenticity is stymied. So what if you piss off the Led Zeppelin fans! When it comes to music I have no truck with irony or camp's kitsch fetish (hate it). However, we ARE talking pop, and the comfort of knowing my own approach (even it's a non-approach) is the little bit of Meta I need.
So here goes (dashing reputation on the rocks) Presenting some of the pop singles of the past two years which I LOVED. Didn't buy 'em, but raced to the telly and turned up the volume. They actually might appear to be quite a "classy" selection. You know Rock Bands, Exotic Curios, "Kylie" but actually this is a list of the direst loathsome junk. I'm not trying to sheen this lot as Perfect Pop.
Coldplay- Clocks.
Crikey. Who'd have thought! Love that rave comedown piano riff!
Lisa TLC- Blockparty.
This is a wee bit hip. Completely Tom Tom Club Wordyrappinghood, right down to the "Iche Ne San Schee" fake Japanese nasal chorus. I adored this track. Forget Aaliyah, this chick was going places...
Shakira- Forever.
Reminded me of middle-of-the-road 80s Pop with a ethno/prog twist. Tracks like Toto's "Africa" and Mike Oldfield's "Moonlight Shadow". I love those tunes, mainly for how they remind me of a happy window in my childhood (!) The video for this was also...ahem...nice. Young lady rolling in mud etc.
Vanessa Carlton- A 1,000 Miles.
Laughed when I read Thurston Moore confessing this had floated his boat. Me too. Actually this is swerving perilously close to a kind of tastefull-ness (DONT FORGET! ALL THIS STUFF IS SHITE!). Vanessa, well she's like a teenage Laura Nyro, aint she.
Kylie Minogue- We Can Be As One.
And Matos liked this too (mentioned not by way of self-defense I promise). Kylie is so terrible. Please NO Kylie-ology! But, yunno, great rushy track. Love the way the hoover riff hangs behind the curling/looping "be as o-o-o-o-ne" chorus.
Foo Fighters- Times like These.
Hated Nirvana. Quite liked the first LP (natch). Foo Fighters, even worse. But damn this track is hot. Kind of Huskers meets anonymous 70s AM rock staple.
Girls Aloud- Good Advice.
Seriously. I like the way they get these girls to ALL half-sing the chorus. Combination of force and apathy. Very slutty.
Who was it who slagged me off for the Jennifer Lopez shite I wrote? Well suck on this lot!
*in a deli.