June 25, 2003
David Sylvian's Haircuts.
The swinging professor swiped at my knuckles with his clear plastic shatterproof ruler: "You're essay is late. TOO LATE!" Before tossing it cruelly in the bin. Finney and Reynolds were smarming away at the front. Finney's desk is SO tidy, he has a dedicated metal tin for his pencil shavings. I was ordered out of class, shutting the mottled glass door behind me. Luka was in the hallway. I can't stand that kid. We're both losers, but hanging out with him just because everyone else hates us, mmm, doesn't seem right. By the way he ignores me I know he's thinking the same thing. What's he doing out here? Only bought in a whole load of larvae in a tobacco tin! The prof shouted, "I told you not to bring bugs to school", Luka cried, he said but they're a beautiful emerald green sir. They'd hate my essay on David Sylvian anyway. No Deleuze and Guitarry. I'd be sent in front of the head Dr. Penman. The Punman, as he's called round the playground. He'd make me stand there, not talk, get his fit secretary to set me some Post-Structural shit to read. Damn those books are hard. It's a shame, cos it was a good piece, well grounded in a thorough understanding of New-Wave History and the relevant philosophical currents. I liked it...
1.Quiet Life.
Early shag. Image of late Bolan or Jagger. Moneyed rock. Tremendous body and bounce. Good platinum bleach, no roots visible.
2.Gentlemen prefer Polaroids.
That heavy fringe, ooh la la! Once again lovely body. Must be using a nice conditioner, perhaps Paul Mitchell. Strong right to left combing. A stylistic negotiation of Haircut 100, punk tonsure and glam. Possible mop-top revival with a twist. Good thorough bleach.
3.Later Japan.
A "confessional" hair-cut. Less Glam than Jeff Lynne. A real low-point. Possibly too much Flux and Mutability. You need a new look David!
4.Ghosts.
Light from above for a superb contrast. Roots showing. More unkempt, possibly been thinned out a bit for that "just-got-out-of-bed" look. Ooh don't smoke David, it does terrible things to your hair...
5.Brilliant Trees.
...like this. Very bad split ends. The difference between the "just-got-out-of-bed" look and looking like you just got out of bed. Possibly keen to let the roots grow out a bit. A new look in the works? Been advised of the damage long-term peroxide application can cause?
6.Secrets of the Beehive.
The first signs of the natural brunette look. Hair tucked neatly behind the ears in a business-like manner. The artist.
7.Dead Bees on a Cake.
Out of the blue a Jimmy Page lord of darkness look. Grunge revivalism. Possibly not washed recently. Crude but effective.
8.Everything and Nothing.
Back to basics again, phew! More of a shear than a cut. You've got to let that thick hair free!
9.Blemish.
Cobain meets suburban hip-hop and........a hat? Grey hairs? Widow's peak peaking?
So there you have it. David Sylvian's entire career in a nutshell. There are the records, but ultimately I believe this to be a more illuminating exercise, above all those LP titles refer to the cuts not the agenda. Just call me Raymonde!
Posted by Woebot at June 25, 2003 04:12 PM