The reason Geeta couldn't show my photo is that I've been working on my moustache. I dyed it and thickened it with wax and its looking superb. Last night I clambered into the Lambourghini and took my new facial hair out on the town with my white tasselled low-cut leather waistcoat and green velour flares. The event? Well courtesy of Kirk Degiorgio I got an invite to the "Secret History" Compilation LP release party.
As it was a music industry do everyone there was looking kind of cool and blase. Me I couldn't disguise my excitement, I've never been along to anything like this. I'll bet Reynolds gets asked to every record company event in Manhatten. As far as the whole payola thing is supposed to work for music journalists, I've got it totally arse about-tit. I pay to go to things like the Rephlex tour and buy their records (thumbs up to The Bug), I should just get on the phone and grease them up. Likewise this "Secret History" Compilation, I should get on the blower to Parlophone and "mwah mwah mwah" get myself a free copy, dammnit it's not like I can afford to buy the fucking thing, but buy it I do. Maybe then I could engineer myself a stream of major label product which I could funnel down the Music and Video Exchange and convert (via what Nick Terry has described to me as: "Hack's Alchemy") into some class second-hand vinyl. I even bought The Junior Boys record (when all around me are content to download it...you heathens!) I'm as straight as the day as the long guv. And (shakes head) more naive than you can possibly begin to imagine.
I have to confess I'm sceptical as to whether I'll ever manage to be a proper journalist, in spite of the fact (inhaling and tightening belt) my chops are not bad. Certainly my track record is dire: Tries to get in with The Lime Lizard (magazine goes bust), Tries to get in with Muzik (magazine goes bust), Tries to get in with The Wire (they say nice things about me...and...and...) THIS IS NOT A HARD LUCK STORY! Really I'm very happy with things as they are, I'm entirely to blame. I mean when did I last send the NYC Free Press something? (C'mon Wanking Tramp!) The problem there being that it's sort of like posting an envelope through a crack in the wall. I don't ever have the pleasure of seeing it in print.
Back to the soiree. I'd begged Nick Kilroy to accompany me, and together we went and said hello to Kirk. Kirk who was, amazingly, delighted to see us. I thought he was just the sweetest dude. Isn't it funny how after that whole mass-debate he ends up spinning for this distinctly European affair. One can't but remark on it. I'm not being spiteful. We chatted a bit, he was going to be playing his set off his laptop. He had encoded a whole bag of records mastered them in Pro Tools and was going to stream them out of "Live to Mix" (can't remember the software's exact name). This is how the big boys do it. No lugging crates of irreplacable vinyl around the world's capitals. Kilroy was charmant in extremis, then disappeared. I think I may have lost points by confessing to Degirogio that I probably wouldn't make his set at 1am. Wet I know, but I only got the invite at 7pm and thought I was being a trooper by just attending. Was to be on my own sans Kilroy. Quite alot of work on right now too. I made a stab at chatting with Dan Keeling, who has put the compilation together: "I do this thing on the net..." "Oh yeah?" (politely interested, eyes glaze over) I did my bit for the global nexus by mentioning Dan Selzer and Acute, then beat a hasty retreat. I'm genuinely sorry I didn't get to hear Kirk play. I'll bet (damn), I'll bet he was rocking.
Talking of Mr. Selzer, the Rephlex press release of today said:
"Rephlex are releasing an incredible bit of electronic disco by black devil called disco club - it's extremely rare and brilliant but as a result, expensive to buy so we thought we'd save it from collectors hell and try and give it back its crown as one of the best bits of electronic disco ever recorded.
In fact Morgan Geist from disco surgeons Metro Area called us up when he heard we were putting this out and told us we'd ruined his year - as he'd always the rights to it himself!"
Morgan is Setzer's buddy, and I'll wager they've had a little tete-a-tete subsequent to Dan's Italo submission. You read it in the Woebot Comments Box first people! I know it's pathetic my offering this up, but you know, it makes me feel (sighs) important, useful, loved even! Woebot I love me!
It's been a very Italo week. The tunes they were spinning at the "Secret History" night were totally rocking. Drumkits 50 feet high, basslines like suspension bridge cables, nimble string quartets. It all matched the vintage Saturday-Night-Fever-Style flashing dancefloor an absolute treat. Today in a record store a dwarf was boasting to the staff behind the counter of his Italian connections. I rushed out and had a Spaghetti Bolognese. Italy, it's the new Germany.
*Just a little.
Posted by Woebot at November 28, 2003 09:41 PM