Some Kinda Love

So I was in this music shop. And because my copy of The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground is a bit mashed up, and it's a record which really benefits from the minimum amount of crackle, I picked up the much touted 45th anniversary "remaster".

I've had some really bad experiences with this remaster bullshit. Love: Forever Changes - they completely fucked with that record. The idea with these remasters should be to make the release sound EXACTLY THE SAME AS BEFORE - only perhaps a bit richer, a bit deeper. But, you fucking cloth-eared technocrat wankers, don't get ideas above your station.

The Velvet Underground remaster is a case in point; if my complaint only hinges on one song. On my scruffy, cherished 1980s Polydor reissue "Some Kinda Love" is represented by what is now referred to as "The Closet mix" - because Sterling Morison said that it sounded like they recorded it in a closet. In this mix it sounds mean, lonely, dark and kinky:

So why has it been substituted with the vastly inferior Val Valentin mix? A completely different recording to boot! And what fucking idiot decided this was a good idea? And don't tell me it was Lou's because I will SCREAM.

And just for comparisons sakes here is the WRONG VERSION which some numpty who doesn't know any better has posted on YouTube:

For me the effect of this substitution was like someone shitting on my teenage memories. Worse than that - it completely desecrated the entirely intimate relationship I had with this record. I used to feel it was inviolably MY RECORD. That was the bond precisely. Some opinionated cunt with a goatee in Los Angeles has decided to make everyone know he matters more than the rest of us. Fuck you, you fucking asshole. Leave great culture alone you selfish opinionated wanker.

[And don't anyone try to correct me on any of this because I'm too angry and upset to be rational.]